This poem came from a difficult time in my life when I was learning the difference between working in the caring industry and the demands of business.
Today, I am prepared to live the corporate life,
be the corporate wife, live corporately.
Now I am prepared to do what it takes to serve his ambition.
I am prepared to be - lucky.
I am prepared to have everything that others desire,
every little thing they need.
It will make me unpopular.
People will regard my clothes with suspicion.
“Are they designer labels?” they will ask - unpleasantly.
They will upend my plates searching for the words
Spode, Wedgewood, Royal Dalton.
They will ‘admire’ my car with bitterness in their hearts.
And the only women who understand will mostly be lost - like me.
Me who thinks that trees are important.
Me who wanted a cottage with roses round the door.
Me who wanted a friend, lover, husband, not a provider.
They will see me as the woman behind the man.
The woman with the five bedroom house.
The five empty bedroom house.
© Deb Hawken
August 2007
Published by debdancingstarhawken7
I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, when I finally found methods that helped me to put it behind me. My struggles led to me exploring life through poetry, then plays, and over a 15 year period I made notes for a self help book which I published in 2015. Details on the book page. Although I am a psychic medium and loved the work, it didn’t feel right for me. It was an utter privilege, but my path was the exploration of what it means to be spirit in the real world and how we can make practical use of those abilities. Nowadays I write, blog, and teach soul-centred living, which is a gentle way of undoing past programming and connecting to your essential self, or soul. If you’re interested email me and we can chat. No pressure, it’s right for you or it’s not and you will know. The groups meet on line so no going out on cold, wet, winter’s evenings. On a personal note, I’m based in the UK. Married with five cats, no children, and four grandchildren, thanks to our inherited daughter, who has gifted us four beautiful little people that bring us such joy. Hope you enjoy the blogs. Deb xx
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