They’re yelling at me to push harder -
What the hell do they think I’m doing?
This child’s tearing away my insides,
and I’m sure my unmentionable’s ruined.
My feet are up over my head,
And my hair is all over my face.
I’d be screaming in pain that’s for sure,
If this mask wasn’t firmly in place.
If they bring one more instrument near me,
I really don’t know what I’ll do.
And I can’t help but harbour the feeling,
That I very much wish this was you.
My husband is being supportive,
He’s yelling to help his wife.
And I know what I’d do if I could do,
The ‘snip’ - with a large rusty knife!
They say, “push just once more with a vengeance”,
And the effort is turning me puce.
There are people involved with my privates,
To whom I’ve not even been introduced.
As I huff and I shove and I whimper,
The world has completely receded.
Another bit’s torn or dropped off me,
I hope it was nothing I needed.
Then there’s a ripping, a snipping, a rushing,
Hey presto!  I’m feeling quite slim.
The midwife is holding my baby,
And my husband is holding a gin.
When later, I rest on my laurels,
A triumph of stunning success.
I don’t need all the fussing and flapping
All I need is a jolly good rest.
As I smile at all their endearments,
My feelings come back in a rush
I am awed by my greatest creation.
And can’t think why they made such a fuss!!

©Deb Hawken
August 2007

Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, after fearlessly exploring many ideas, philosophies, and tools, I finally found methods that helped me return my mind to a better normal. One of the things I hated about anxiety was the way people treated me like a fool or a problem, I have two degrees and I'm a (much) retired black belt, my IQ is decent, but I constantly felt like a complete idiot, something that was exacerbated by never feeling like the real me. The girl who could laugh endlessly about the smallest things, and had a real excitement about what life had to offer her. I didn't need anyone else to tell me I wasn't 'right', I knew that better than anyone. My mission now is to support people suffering as I did with a message of support with what they're going through, tools and ideas that might help, and a strong message of hope for the future. At 63, which I am at the time of writing, many people I know are in a rut, yet having beaten anxiety I'm now doing more with my life than I ever did when I was struggling just to get up in the morning, let alone face the day. It's a wonderful feeling - so the main message is that it doesn't matter how long you've been struggling or what age you are, when you beat anxiety you will get an entirely new lease of life - and that's fantastic at any age. On a personal note I'm married to my soul mate, we have 5 cats, and I live in the middle of the UK. I follow a number of fantastic thinkers, as it's important to immerse yourself in healthy thinking as often as you can, I'm a Toastmaster and professional public speaker, and I keep life simple and encourage my clients to do the same, and my friends.

4 thoughts on “Childbirth

  1. Yikes, in the Grand scream of things, this is still painful to hear and imagine, and of course painful to be there. A Grand agony deserves a grand reward, but it’ll be a bloody while. I’m not sure if the “humour” tag is reassuring considering that even the spell-check prefers “humor.” If AI had to give birth it would find a better algorithm for Mother Nature to make a better design for birthing.


    1. True. I’ve never tried it I wrote it too late a friend giggle. And I’m a Brit and we use the U. I’m quite reassured by that, and don’t bow to spell check unless it’s not arguing with the mother tongue.


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