Gentlemen read at your own risk!
These are the thoughts of someone with a bit of life experience and a lot of questions. Concerned about the kids of today, nothing more. READ THAT AGAIN. Not advice, ideas.
Apparently in the UK we’re considering a puberty blocker trial for children with gender confusion. Altering the body’s natural development, and experimenting on the most vulnerable.
Let me tell you a story from 53 years ago. No I’m not a dinosaur. No it was not different then. No it was not easier then. It was as it has been since the dawn of time.
1970
I was a child. That’s what you are when you’re young, just a kid. Your gender isn’t important, games are.
Then I felt like a woman or something and it was uncomfortable. I couldn’t wait for my breasts to appear, when they did they completely overwhelmed me. I developed very fast, there were literally no bras to fit me, and I was not ready.
I wanted to be a child again.
The emotions were too much, I developed hair where I didn’t want it. And then the awful happened. Menstruation! 😱😱😱
That’s exactly how I felt. It was awful. You have no idea how lucky you are nowadays. Our ‘protection’ constantly leaked. It was awful. My mum, bless her eternally, followed all latest developments and when better appeared I had it at once.
It was a horrible, horrible time, and it’s all natural. What I question is interference before the body and mind have settled down. It’s such a mentally and emotionally confusing time. Certainly not for big decisions.
What young people are scared of today and can’t cope with, is exactly the same as virtually every young person since the dawn of time. We most of us felt exactly as you do. Confused, uncomfortable, lack of clear identity, ready to punch anyone!
Purely personal opinion
I have no medical training, let me be crystal clear about that!!!!
I do have one question though. Is gender confusion simply a natural result of being a child one moment and then everything changing overnight?
Suddenly having feelings as a woman or man that you’ve never had before? More complex if you suddenly realise that your feelings don’t seem to match your appearance?
I know that I was deeply uncomfortable. I just wanted my life back. It was like being a stranger in my own body.
Who was this person who started wanting to do her hair, or flick it back every time a boy walked past? Who swung her hips when she walked, and struck poses when anyone good looking was nearby? Not me!
The hormones got me into a lot of trouble too, they were uncontrollable. I could not manage them.
It was altogether, all round, a horrible time. I promise you nothing unusual is happening nowadays, but one important thing is.
Giving young people time to settle down before they start interfering.
Menstruation once every month is normal. What harm does giving yourself three short years do? You’ll be 90 before you know it, wondering how you blinked and missed 75 years.
I was in the the old birth pill for 7 years to ‘help me’. When I was forced to take a break things settled down so nicely that I never went back on it. I knew within one month that I never wanted it near me again. I felt so much better. I honestly don’t think I ever needed it.
Suggestions
- Someone please teach young people about the change, reassure them children have survived it since humans first existed, and teach them relaxation techniques.
- Try listening to great music to lift the vibe.
- When the whole world gets on your nerves, go to your room. Hide in a corner of the playground. Get away from people. Find a book, a film, that music, find peace. That’s going to happen for the rest of your life, and get worse as you get older, your ‘nerves’ will be tested to breaking point. Trust me, this is just training.
- Don’t worry about feeling like a man, a woman, the ‘wrong one‘, neither. I don’t feel like anything, I never have, I’m a me. Be just you and find out who and what that is.
- To be very clear, I believe that all genders are natural, the sliding scale of genders has identified 16 natural genders so far. There is no wrong gender, I’m referencing the confusion when what you see and what you feel doesn’t seem to fit inside. I had it and I’m heterosexual.
- It’s a lot to deal with. Sit back and allow it to play out before you make any big decisions. Talk to someone. Get help. You can and will cope. We live in a wonderful world of variety now, and the world is a more beautiful place for it. Love who you are.
- I’m obviously speaking to the societies that I understand here. I am aware that gender-freedom isn’t available for all, and I have no words for that. I can’t imagine how hard it is and my heart goes out to you.
- Talk to your doctor about Evening Primrose or Starflower oil if you’re a girl. I swore by Evening Primrose. It made such a difference.
- My GP also told me to take two pain killers the moment I knew my period was going to start. She said you tense up anticipating the cramps, and painkillers ease it off and you relax. I only ever needed two and it worked like a charm. Unless I got a headache. Please note that my doctor told me, and what painkillers to take.
Conclusion
- Nothing unusual is happening. Note the image above.
- Every child since forever has gone through this.
- It will be okay. Look at the number of adults who have survived puberty, almost sane.
- Sorry I couldn’t comment on boys specifically, I’m not one, but I do know it’s hard and equally confusing for boys in a different way. Maybe the relaxation ideas and allowing yourself to develop until you know who you are will help?
- Just relax and let it all happen. Isolate yourself when you’re temperamental. Read a good book or watch a film you love, raise your vibe.
- In all but exceptional circumstances, you will cope.
- Seek help and advice if you’re not.
- Most importantly, allow your body to fully develop naturally before you consider a dramatic change. This is only advice. Not an instruction. you won’t truly know who you are until it has.
In the UK we have young people wanting to reverse the changes they’ve undergone. Waiting two to three years to be sure has to be worth it. You can dress as you feel right, wear your hair the way you want to. Wear cosmetics or not. Just be sure for your own sake.
Mid puberty and mid menopause for a woman aren’t particularly good times to make big changes. I’m sure it’s similar for men.
Relax, you’ve got this.
Best love
I so hope this might help someone
Amorah – Deb
Deb Hawken - Amorah 