One of the little pieces of blackmail I have always ‘loved’ is that if you don’t charge enough for your work you don’t value yourself and other people won’t believe in you. That, or charging weeds out the losers.
To a certain extent that is true, because some people value money in the wrong way. The acquisition of money is how they get their value. If you’re rich you’re worth more. If you’re successful you’re worth more. So they see life in that way.
The people who teach you this, and belittle you if you don’t agree, do this so that THEY can charge a fortune, and they often do very little. Just trot out the same old same old.
If you can be successful you can help more people though, so the search for success isn’t all bad, far from it. As long as it doesn’t define you to the extent that you despise others. Then it’s cost you something very important, safety. If you lose everything you’ll potentially lose yourself too. How will you bear returning to the ‘losers circle’?
Mentally and emotionally valuing success and money that highly is dangerous. People have cut their children off because they couldn’t match their success. Their children!
Upbringing and Luck
However, here’s an unpopular view. The wealthy rarely need a great deal of help, those struggling do. They’re not losers they’re people who have often had an equally great deal of bad luck.
No they’re not dynamic. No they don’t know what they want. No they won’t light the world up. Especially if those with money stand in their way. Making them not worth their time. Belittling them further.
I wasn’t raised to dare to have an original thought. If I did I would be wrong. I recall being scolded severely by my father when we were in a graveyard, on holiday. I was about ten at the time.
There was a grave of a small child. Dad was saying how sad it was, and that wasn’t lost on me. However, I attended church and believed in God. I said that at least the child was with God now, which for me was something, some comfort, in such an awful tragedy. Dad was scathing.
As you may imagine I became an adult who didn’t know know how to think independently. A person those ‘successes’ laughed at and made things entirely worse.
What is value?
So…when you meet people who value money and success more highly than people, recognise that you’re in the wrong company.
If someone is putting you down there is something very wrong with that person.
Yes there are some who will never help themselves, choosing to blame anything and anyone else, that’s their life path, and they have free will.
Even the most positive thinkers aren’t that way all the time.
However, never take your value from:
- The beliefs of others
- The words of others
- Anything that can be taken away from you
The only thing that lasts in your life, that is truly yours, is being at peace with yourself. Feeling strongly, quietly you.
If I was one of those high chargers I personally couldn’t live with myself. It doesn’t matter that other people can. It doesn’t matter that they believe I’m wrong or a fool. I don’t. I believe I’m me. I don’t believe they’re wrong. Just different.
I don’t mind what other people believe within reason, I do mind them expecting me to believe it or judging me by it. It’s their business and they should mind it.
The image below is evidence of my ‘self-ness’. I went to a Christmas meal on Thursday evening. I knew every other woman would likely be in a dress. I didn’t want to wear a dress. For the first time I was totally comfortable being me, my way. It was wonderful.
No amount of money or success can give you that.
Be yourself
Do what makes you happy
Love yourself and your life
Know what matters
Have fun
Laugh and dance and sing
Those things are free
If you can look in the mirror and smile, you’ve got it made! Build on that. There’s nothing wrong with money or success, as long as your self worth is independent of it. You can always get that stuff, but do that your way.
Deb xx
P.S. if you’re struggling, contact me, I’ll always have time for you and try to help. I was you. I still have my moments. No judgement here, just support.
Deb Hawken - Amorah 