Fulfilled?

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

When it comes to the day job I can honestly say that in 40 years I had one job I liked. But then I’m not a career person.

Cleaning the house leaves me with a nice feeling, removing the stress of the dust, I feel good when that’s done but don’t tend to enjoy the process.

Gardening I do because we have one, the cats need it, and when we’ve improved something that too is a good feeling.

Thinking about the feeling of fulfilment, I’m honestly not sure what that is. I was raised with the vibe 3/10 could do better. My parents were extremely hard on themselves and us. It made achievement impossible.

When my first play was performed they were uncomfortable and eventually ruined the memory. They hated anything that brought attention to them, even when it wasn’t about them. I think there was a world of hurt behind it.

My father once told me that the worst thing he could say about someone was that they wanted to be the best. When I asked if that meant being better than others, he said “oh no, she’s not like that, just the best she can be in herself! That’s the worst thing I can say about anyone.” I’m still baffled.

I always wanted to please my dad though. Sigh.

There is hope?

I do have many other good feelings. Joy, happiness, excitement, a genuine love of life. My cats create huge surges of love in me every day.

When I first started writing I would feel energised, excited, completely lost in the moment. Perhaps nothing ever measures up to that feeling? I’m getting it back through this blog.

I love nature, animals, sunlight, starlight. I could watch the moon for hours, and miss the stars now that we have so much light pollution.

That and so much more are the things that make me feel wonderful.

Besides, I’m a writer and we’re notorious for critiquing ourselves to stratospheric levels. But then readers do deserve the best. 🤣

Detach

Perhaps what’s emerged here is that you may not have one of the good feelings in life, maybe more that one of them. But if you can find others then it really doesn’t matter.

I enjoy new things, learning, experiencing, if I was fulfilled I’d probably straightaway look for something new. What fun! Why rest on your laurels when you can have a set to match every outfit, including your birthday suit?!

Flexibility rocks

We will remain flexible, if it doesn’t work we will let it go, and the bad feelings with it. If it does we will embrace it, and collect a whole host of good feelings to snuggle up with at night feeling…what’s the word?