Silence

I haven’t done a Voice of the Heart blog for a while, but recent events in my life make silence a subject worth exploring.

I was diagnosed with a medical condition requiring life-long tablets. I know of people who have been on them for 20 and 30 years, one of which died of old age, the 30 year-er is still going strong.

Although the tablets come with side effects, I actually feel better than I have in years. Except for one thing. People I have supported, called, messaged, been there for are becoming more and more conspicuous by their absence.

My husband commented yesterday that the first question my neighbours always ask is how I am. I said how nice, then realised that they don’t ask me, they don’t contact me.

This isn’t poor me, it follows my rules of “what is happening”, and this is a fact.

The definite positive

However…and this is going to sound odd, with the exception of two friends I am functionally alone, and it feels great. No longer am I wearing myself out trying to help. No longer am I putting up with bad treatment. No longer am I the person who allowed all this to happen.

I beg you:

Be aware of the treatment of others. Don’t go into who is wrong or right. Assess what is happening, what you are seeing, what is not happening. Deal only with facts. Then pull back and protect yourself, your mind, your emotions, your health and wellbeing.

More good news

I am happier that I’ve ever been by quietly pulling away. No arguments, no nastiness, not even any hurt. Because I feel better without these people.

So why would I get angry or upset when it’s done me the world of good?

I am utterly blessed that I’ve been functionally alone all my life. I quietly removed myself from a very messed up family background age 7. Being alone is quite natural for me.

That ability to be alone, coupled with the recognition that I have to take care of me now and not allow in any negativity, has freed me, without guilt. I have to look after me, I am the only one who can. I am my responsibility, no one else can save me.

Let’s get poetic

Silence

I was afraid of the silence
that invaded my life
I thought it had erased me

I wasted a lot of time on
“what is wrong with me
that I deserve this?”
There was nothing wrong

I know by my past actions
who and what I am
I know how many people
I’ve been there for
and for how long

I learned that you have to be real
To trust what you see
What is happening

Don’t dismiss bad behaviour
Don’t pretend it isn’t happening
Don’t empty your energy into others
Only the very few truly decent people
will match you kindness for kindness
Look for them
they are the people worth finding

And don’t fear a silence
that means no one is hurting you
Don’t fear the isolation
that protects you
Don’t fear that it will
always be like this

What you have learned
will bring results
The space you create
will be filled with the right people
because you now know
how to recognise them

While you wait
enjoy the peace
embrace the silence
It will make you so strong
The fact that you can be alone
That those who want to be in your life
will know that
they need to be your equals

Human
imperfect
but caring and interested

It is not a lot to ask
but it will change your world

Amorah - Deb
2026

“Remember what peace there may be
in silence”
The Desiderata

Best love

Amorah – Deb