Simply living is about removing complications and coming down to simple answers that are easy to action.
This question reminds us that we did not shape ourselves. That’s why there are generational traits in families. The programme is handed down along with the hangups.
As such, the shaping of you can’t be allowed to be the making of you.
Keeping it Simple
Baggage: You wouldn’t offer to carry all the baggage in an airport, it’s not yours. Your parents’ and grandparents’ hang ups are not yours either.
If you find yourself saying “I’m just like my *insert relative*”, and they’re not happy, confident, healthy, etc., reflect on that idea and ask whether it’s really you or learned behaviour.
You can always be the ancestral line breaker. The person who chooses their own path.
Don’t drift pay attention: Be mindful of how you feel, especially with different people. Are they supportive of who you are or not? If they constantly criticise and suggest improvements, remove yourself from their presence as much as you can.
Do you constantly complain about your job or your partner? Listen!
Don’t say what others want to hear, say what you need to say.
How you feel about your life and the people in it is so important. They’re your base. If you’re loved and liked you’re with the right people, the wrong people will cause all kinds of havoc. Take it seriously.
Create yourself
Take a long hard look at your life and your reactions, how you talk about yourself, feel about yourself, allow others to treat you.
Take notice of whether you’ve been taught not to be a quitter, so no matter how unhappy you are you never give up. Learn to give up unhappiness and the rest will follow.
Happiness is the baseline from which we should create our life. Start simple and build a strong foundation based on feeling good.
No one is perfect, don’t aim for it. Authenticity and self awareness, plus a commitment to yourself to take care of you, will take you a long way. Self care is not a crime!
Personality
I speak from experience of having been raised in a way that didn’t reflect the real me. If I offered an opinion I was always wrong. If I spoke for kindness and compassion I was laughed at. I didn’t understand the way the world worked.
To be liked I modelled myself on those around me, and landed up as 7 different people none of whom liked each other.
When I realised how broken I was I found a mentor and a counsellor, and I got support and advice. That changed everything.
I discovered that the real me was actually right, I cared deeply for others, always tried to see the best, and only gave up if they wouldn’t allow that. They didn’t think they were worth it, or too set in their ways to consider a different idea.
Gradually I became a me I liked, the one I was born to be.
It’s quite easy to do. Set your standards and live by them. Decide on the effect you want to have on the world and don’t back down for anyone.
I shared that so that you know I talk from experience, not theory.
One bit of important advice though:
Do not make change complicated or believe it should be a struggle, that’s a myth that undoes a lot of good.
It’s about simple, clear decisions and carrying them through. Write down the three key aspects of a human that make you admire them, or aspects of humanity you want to embody, try them on for size, tweak until it fits. Job done.
Me? Kindness and all it encompasses is my watchword.
To others
To animals
To the planet
And to myself
Best love
Amorah – Deb
