I’m a What?!

What’s a moment when you realized you were officially an adult?

I have never been so insulted in my life!

I will call down an army of ants to infest your undergarments. A plague of weasels to invade your house!

I will raise an army of rebellious, post menopausal 60 somethings, and that includes men who aren’t as immune to mood swings as they like to pretend, and we will invade your neighbourhood.

We will swap all the clothes on your clothes lines so you can’t find your favourite sweater, or the only semi-comfortable bra you own! What we will do with the aforementioned garments will give you permanent PTUD!

Post Traumatic Underwear Disorder.

We will teach your children how to really rebel, 60s style. Which means you don’t give a toss what anyone thinks. Seen it all, heard it all, ignore it all. They’ll reach stratospheric new levels of impossibility by the time we’ve finished with them!

There is no punishment too cunning for an insult that dastardly!

I have spent 50 years of my life refusing to adult. It only took the first hormonal change at 12 to convince me I was not interested. A few months at work reinforced my take on growing up. Ten minutes of marriage put the tin lid on it!

If I had my way I’d have an adult sized dolls house and still be collecting Barbie dolls. I’d order take outs not cook. Watch cartoons all day. Refuse to vote. Have a fort in the garden that would be fortified and armed with canons. Never ever watch the news.

Trouble is there’s a terrible compulsion to check that no missiles are heading your way before you go to bed. That and who is on Strictly Come Dancing this year! One of my favourite singers, that’s all!

I love Delta Goodrem, especially “Born to Try”. It calls to my heart because I’m still trying not to grow up – it’s so ageing.

Seriously – “I was born to try, to learn to love, be understanding, and believe in life…”. And “All you see is me.” I have only one side, me. If I had two faces I wouldn’t know which one to put make up on. I’d also fall over a lot trying to follow them both at the same time.

I encourage you to listen to the song.

Even more seriously, I became an adult the day my mum died. She was the last adult older than me. I became the older and wiser head in the family, God help them.

This blog is more of an insight into the real me than the work I do. Although be with me in a room on an inspirational course, and it will include a lot of laughter. You don’t improve your emotions by getting serious – unless it’s about feeling better.

So there you are. Abandoned by my mother at too young an age (57), forced to adult. Tried it for a week, gave up. It’s just not in me.

Best love

Amorah – Deb