It’s no good living from the heart if you’re not going to speak from the heart.
Speaking out can be scary, especially if you don’t normally speak up for yourself, but there is no point knowing what you want and don’t want, knowing what you can and can’t tolerate, if you feel unable to say so.
You won’t put your life right if you’re feeling one thing and saying another, especially if you allow your mind to confuse you with the “you can’t say that…people will get angry” kind of trash talk.
People will not get angry if you’re quiet, courteous, and make your reasons known. Okay, some might not respond well, but those people tend to be in the minority. If you set a quiet tone, you should be okay with most people. However, if you do encounter shouting, bullying, aggression, remember who has the problem.
Take your time
You don’t have to rush speaking up for yourself, give yourself time to get clear in your heart about who you are. Work out your core beliefs. Decide what kind of person you want to be in life.
Once you’ve done that you can identify your red lines, you will know why you have them, and you will be clear what to say and do.
One of my red lines is unkindness and everything that comes with it: lack of respect; hectoring and bullying; dismissive behaviour; belittling. You get the picture. Because I believe in kindness as a way of life – to others, to animals, to the planet, and to myself, it’s very easy for me to identify what I don’t like, what I can’t tolerate, and when I need to draw a line.
What word or idea would provide that kind of simple inner guidance to you?
Poetic exploration
Listen
If I don't hear me
how do I know what I think?
If I want to know what I think
I need to know how I feel.
My mind has led me astray too many times
with logic and common sense,
and sometimes a touch of fear.
They're good things of course
providing they're right and appropriate
in the given moment.
That is not always the case.
Sometimes how you feel about something
is the difference between success and failure.
You won't fight like a demon
for something you don't truly want;
you will never be fully invested.
In a war between heart and mind
the heart will make itself known
by lack of energy and enthusiasm.
It will convince you to get to that tomorrow.
You'll think it's your mind
when you're distracted by absolutely
anything and everything.
When tomorrow becomes tomorrow becomes never.
I've learned this the hard way,
on the path of failure.
Not always because what I was considering
was wrong.
Far from it.
Sometimes because it was so right
it scared me.
I was scared of getting hurt again
if I put my head above the parapet.
I never asked my heart what it thought.
My heart broke for me.
I gathered regrets,
lost years,
missed opportunities.
All because I never learned
to communicate my truth from the heart,
be strong in my inner certainty,
and not let unkind people derail me.
Had I known this...
What then?
Deb Hawken
2026
Why don’t you find out?
At the end of the day, allowing anything to derail you from your true purpose, calling, desires, and dreams, is a betrayal of the self for reasons that are rarely valid. Listen to your heart, allow yourself to dream, and most of all realise that happiness is your birthright. Your heart can tell you what that is!
Best love
Amorah – Deb
Deb Hawken - Amorah 