1990-1

Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?

It was the best time in my life. I was really writing, I couldn’t stop. I would have written an idea on your arm with a pen if I had no paper and taken you home. It was bliss.

My amateur dramatic group had just performed my first play and they knocked it out of the ballpark. A lady from the audience declared it to be better written and performed than the Terence Rattigan she had seen in the West End of London the previous week. I was stunned and thrilled and over the moon.

I’d been unhappily married for 13 years and we had split up during the production, my doing, I refused to take any more of his moods. Let alone his interests.

We announced that soon after and what was supposed to improve my life did the opposite. It was an entire mess and I landed up alone with a man I barely knew, and three loyal friends.

Tony and I are still together but I’m a creative he’s an accountant. He genuinely did not understand the need to write. He had lived a life where survival was the focus, literally, homeless at 15. Emotion wasn’t a factor of his life, he couldn’t afford to feel.

Writers, as we know, feel. He didn’t understand the flow or the mindset creatives need. It seems to be to be a bit like a mind-to-mind call, if you got cut off then it could be impossible to get the connection back.

Did I tense up so much I couldn’t hear as it were, or did the link drop? I don’t know, but writing had been sporadic since.

I’ve never given up, I finished my book, but I rarely if ever get that feeling that I have to write.

That’s the year I’d have back. However, something happened yesterday that reminded me that looking back might seem better, but we are where we are and it can be amazing too.

My friend Luke

The Spirit Artist if you’re on Facebook, and I know he’s listed on other sites, Etsy is one if memory serves.

Spirit artists receive images as a download from the ether then they commit them to paper.

Yesterday he floored me with his kindness. He sent me a message to say that he is trying to link in to my muse and help reconnect us. It’s something I could never have imagined.

Yes I know we live in a weird world, but it’s a wonderful one, and the fact that he would try to put this right for me means that I’m happy to be right here in the now, as long as there are people like him in the world.

Always make the best of now because it’s creating your future.

So, last night I came home from seeing my sister, always wonderful no matter what. Decided to write, and Microsoft have somehow completely ruined Word. My quick access toolbar wouldn’t appear even though it’s switched on. Some of the key codes, such as the copyright symbol would not work. It was so frustrating.

Normally I would have let that stop me. But I downloaded Libra Office, and I got the introduction to the book I should have written years ago, but can put far more into now, down on paper. It felt wonderful.

The now can be tremendous fun. Please do check out Luke’s work. It comes from his heart to heal and uplift.

I love the idea that angels are watching over us. It needs to be above a child’s bed perhaps. Imagine going to sleep with an angel watching over you. Perfect. It is available if you love it.

Best love for a wonderful day

Amorah – Deb

P.S. I’ll add some links to his work later.