Visiting Uncle Joe’s House

Think back on your most memorable road trip.

I’ve told this story before.

I had a very dear uncle in Florida called Joe, he was a courtesy uncle.

Joe was instrumental in keeping my dad alive during a very bad time in his life.

He told me after dad died that he was in a bar in New York and he saw this beatiful, sad, young man drowning himself in drink. So he went over, typical Joe, and made contact to see if he could help.

He persuaded dad to play Pool with him, and ever after that he would wait at the dock when the Queen Elizabeth was due, meet dad off the ship, and take care of him. That was Joe.

My dad had very good reason to be the way he was. Something so horrific happened to him at the age of 18, so incredibly sad, a pure tragic accident, that it was a wonder he ever held his head together. He had more strength than most people ever knew, and Joe was a part of his survival. No doubt.

A promise kept

So my best road trip was going to see his house 15 years after he died. We had to cancel the holiday we were taking to visit him as I always promised I would, because one of our original two cats was dying and not only couldn’t I leave him, we had no one to help us. So I had to let that dear man down.

Fortunately he rescued many cats in his life so completely understood.

However, I keep my word and when we had the opportunity to go to Florida, I went as I promised I would. I saw where he lived. I said thank you.

This bit is important!

You see, Joe was a lifelong bachelor who didn’t want children. As such he didn’t really know what to do with them.

He visited us in London when I was three, I still remember it, we connected across the years and never lost touch across the miles. Soul-to-soul. I now know that we are soul family. Then it made no sense, but it was wonderful and that was enough.

Years later his brother came over, and when we arrived to meet him he came down the stairs and greeted me with “At last! I get to meet the only child my brother has ever really liked.”

That knocked me sideways. A man I loved and admired as being a truly good man, liked me! Me! That was amazing.

I was used to 3/10 could do better, but don’t bother because you won’t. A psychiatric nurse confirmed that when I sought help. When I tried to make sense of my family he pointed out that I didn’t know what I was talking about but he did, I never had a chance of approval because the goal posts were always moved for me.

Here’s an example of a crazy conversation:

“How did you do at English today?”

“I got a B plus.”

“You didn’t get an A?” Disappointment fills the air.

“How did you do at English today?”

“A got an A!” Sense of relief due to soon be obscured by…

“You didn’t get an A plus?”

“How did you do at English today?”

“I got an A plus!”

Wait for it…

“Don’t show off in front of your brother.”

Truth.

There is always a message we can use

A truly admirable man, a kind man, a gentle man. A man with friends all over the world, who could visit any country and stay with friends, even Russia during the Cold War, liked me!

He found something good in me. I’ve held onto that.

If you’re a person constantly criticised, and you have one or two friends who love you the way you are (Kim and Katrina thank you 💖), listen to them, they know you best.

But…if you meet a stranger and they react in that way towards you too, not only has Source sent someone to help you, but you know there is something good and attractive in you to the right people.

I met a stranger from America and one from New Zealand, one was my uncle, ne I married.

Listen particularly to supportive friends who don’t have to be in your life, but want to, and complete strangers who are reacting to what they see. Not your own hurt beliefs.

Strangers who bond with you immediately don’t know what you think about yourself, or the beliefs of anyone else who know you.

Most importantly, they aren’t seeing what other people tell you you’re ‘putting out’.

You’re probably also more yourself around them.

Take notice!

Take it to heart.

Knowing that Joe liked me still helps me stay steady now.

Kim and Katrina give me confidence because I adore both of them and they don’t care that I’m not perfect, we all get each other and love each other just the way we are.

Tony and I? We scrap sometimes. Drive each other nuts. But heck, we have to live together. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And that’s just how it has to be. Because we just are.

Take your sense of self from those you trust.

Deb xx