Define ‘It’

This was one of my key pieces of learning during my journey from chaos and acute anxiety. You can look around you for help, outside you, consult experts, read the best books, talk to all your friends, and all of this is external.

Whatever advice you read or receive needs to be acted on. It’s not just advice or information, it’s a call to action.

This is why I call myself either an insper-actional or motiv-actional speaker and writer. I learned the hard way that no one else could help me, that the advice I received was not always appropriate for me, and that books were expensive recycling if you didn’t take the words to heart and work with them. Seminars were just a good day out if you weren’t working out how to make what you were hearing useful for you in a real way.

No rush

Change should be a thoughtful process that you step through, carefully monitoring your progress, and ensuring that the end result you were aiming for still feels right the further through the process you travel.

Think of all that reading and advice gathering, those seminars and maybe social network get togethers, as content for a plan.

Sometimes I see people on social media posting a lot of wisdom, then complaining about their life, I’m sure you’ve come across this in other ways. It’s not that they’re insincere, or stupid, it’s simply that they didn’t see the great words as a call to action. I fell for this myself, I landed up learning a lot and doing sod all, to put it bluntly.

I learned the hard way because I was far too far into this journey before I twigged, but then that was my life lesson to be shared with others. Often we do all that learning so that we learn something, and then we can share that. There’s really no other way to take a wild stab at wisdom. Action is the way to make it meaningful.

Define IT

What is ‘it’ that needs to change? Is there only one ‘it’ or several ‘its’

You also need to interrogate ‘something’. You know the old chestnut, “something needs to change”. Go into the word and mind-map what your somethings are that aren’t working for, or right for, who and where you are.

Be fearless! this is only information gathering, you’re not at the action step yet. Don’t let your mind leap forward to the ‘what if’s’. That place where you speculate how wrong you could get this process, everything that might confound you, stay well away.

Once you have the information you need, work out the most sensible process of action. One step at a time. Including of course, any practical knowledge you need to acquire to start the journey.

Don’t forget the Law of Attraction either. Aim for happiness and feeling good as the top level of what you want, then check whether what you have in your plan would put a tick by both those words.

Do not listen to people who say that it’s stupid to believe you can be happy in this world, no one gets everything they want, and feeling good is for those who don’t understand how messed up this world is. Block them ruthlessly.

Why on earth would any sensible person want to take a single step in life that won’t lead to happiness and feeling good? There is no logic to that whatsoever. Keep that focus and you’ll take the right, rewarding steps.

Don’t be inflexible. As you move through the process you may realise that this end game isn’t the right game for you. Do not feel that knowledge equals failure, that you can’t stick to anything, that you’re deliberately doubting yourself. Stop and run the thought process again, and if you realise that the knowledge you have now suggests that a tweak or change of track is required, do it.

As long as you’re honest with yourself all should be well.

So what is the it that you need to do something about, and what is the something you need to do?

It’s quite alright to begin with the nebulous, not be too specific, and take your time. The most beautiful building will crack if the foundations aren’t solid and strong.

It and something are those strong foundations
that lead to happiness and feeling good.

Define your life using those two simple ideas,
you’ll never regret it.

Deb Hawken