How Embarrassing!

I just checked out a post I wrote today trying to cheer myself up by finding something positive at this l difficult time, and I couldn’t work out what I was thinking when I wrote it. Let alone what I meant.

Frankly I found myself wondering why I even tried to write it.

I think I ably proved though the mess that grief can make of a normally sound mind. Kind of an embarrassing way to prove your point.

It was probably too early to start trying normal again.

The possible point…

So ‘brilliantly’ proven, was that we shouldn’t expect too much of ourselves at this time. We shouldn’t trust our own thoughts because they’re a mess, try to make sense of what’s happened, or try to do too well or recover too quickly.

After a bad morning having woken up to the realisation that this isn’t a terrible nightmare, she really is gone from this world, but never my heart or life, I wanted to try to be positive.

I’m going to ease up on myself and try that again next week. If you can read what I’ve written then I’m doing better. If it’s junk, please let me know that I need more time and should take my own advice.

Grief needs respect, time, gentleness with yourself, and no sudden attempts at a normality that hasn’t settled down yet.

Sigh. You’d think I’d know better.

Deb xx