Oldness

Oldness is a natural state of life if you’re lucky. Getting old is optional. The trouble is that the world keeps telling you you’re old rather than celebrating that.

You get treated like an old banger rather than the shiny new cars that adorn the driveways of the youthful and allegedly vibrant.

Those old bangers were simple in their construction, did what they needed to do without fuss, and weren’t too complex for their own longevity.

Our current car needs Valium quite frequently. It panics if we pass long grass, screaming out a bump warning! If a car comes within 6 feet you get red flashing lights and sirens even though you’ve just stopped.

In fairness it did prevent me backing into a car that shot into the car park and past me at high speed, and I was grateful, but even so the thing is a complicated nervous wreck. And frankly fussy to drive.

Cause for celebration

Getting older is a fantastic thing. Yes the body changes, no it isn’t an automatic death sentence the second you hit 50. You were born at the start of that sentence anyway.

No you don’t have to fall apart automatically at 70. Many of my generation get to stop work in their mid 60s! That’s a huge bonus.

Yes most people slow down, but many are also still very fit even at 80. I play badminton. They put me to shame. I’m the one literally running to catch up, whilst they’re everywhere all at once! To paraphrase the film title.

No rules

There are no rules for ageing. Some people manage to achieve a very advanced age without gaining any wisdom whatsoever, so even older and wiser isn’t a given.

Some get angry about life early on and continue to add to their bag of venom on a daily basis, living a long and furious life.

I have found myself more likely to feel angry at the world I admit, but Ukraine and Gaza, the Sudan, and the state of UK society, are not making me trust humanity more, and I think I can be forgiven for that. Or at least understood.

But if you do decide to celebrate and be grateful for ageing, there are a lot of benefits.

As a woman the menopause was my friend! It was coming anyway, so I decided to embrace it. It had its moments but it was quite bearable. I think attitude helped.

I don’t worry about figure or weight now.

When I see the angst in teenagers and the pressure they’re up against, I wouldn’t swap places with them.

I probably had what they call gender dysphoria as a young teenager. I did not appreciate the change that made me a woman at all. I was deeply uncomfortable and affronted! I didn’t know what I was! No one told me that being a girl and being a woman were two very different things!

I do wonder if I would have landed up thinking I was trans. I don’t think so, but we had many tomboy girls that went on to have children. We had single sex schools so I can’t comment on the attitude of the boys. I’m glad I was born in an age where you had time to settle into the changes before it became something more.

More time for fun

If you look at ageing this way. Appreciate the grandchildren you can hand back. View it as a time of freedom. If you’re able to get about, maybe more slowly, but you see more, take in, and appreciate more when you’re not rushing between work, home, kids, and food shopping.

If you keep a positive attitude to ageing all your life, you will finally have the time and space you need to rebel, create havoc, travel, read, go to matinees, visit the gym at quiet times, eat an early or late lunch in quieter restaurant.

To do your gardening in good weather rather than cut the lawns when they’re wet as you only have the weekend to do it. Especially if you’re getting worried that tigers living in the long grass might be about to attack and you won’t see them coming!

I could go on, and on, and on. But if you’re lucky, because that is a factor, and particularly if you don’t make ageing a thing, if you choose to enjoy every stage of life, you might have a great deal more fun. You’ll certainly have more time to keep fit. You could get a degree.

The world is still your oyster. Youth belongs to the young, the rest belongs to us all. It’s still our world.

Deb xx

P.S. It’s acceptable to wear mini skirts with boots nowadays if you still have the legs for it…and even if you don’t! No worries about wobbling on stilettos. 🤣🕺💃🎉🚴🧗

P.P.S. Your soul is about 10,000 anyway, so don’t worry about ageing, it’s got this nailed.