Lost in My Work

As you can see I’m an author. But that doesn’t begin to describe me, and although I knew I had to write that book I don’t feel like an author.

Derailed by common sense

When I started out in my work it was as an unexpected medium. My journey began as one of personal change many years before that. I discovered that a friend thought in ways way outside the experience of my very limited upbringing.

I mean no disrespect to my parents, they were the children of simple people living simple lives, and happy to do so. After two world wars just being alive and unharmed was an excellent result. You didn’t need much more.

However, Krishna Murti, Nietzsche, Marcus Aurelius, Kahlil Gibran, and so many more, had never crossed their paths. Nor would they have had any idea what they were missing.

The mediumship came in much later, and led to me going out working in front of people, which was good. But it wasn’t who I was even though I loved it.

Then I found friends to work with and it seemed to make sense that if you really wanted to help people you need to a) be famous, and b) be successful. That’s where the wheels came off for me.

Personality development

It doesn’t matter who you are or how many years you have on the clock, you’re constantly changing, growing, developing. Well if you don’t want to become old and stuck in your ways you are.

As such, I am constantly on a fascinating journey of exploring myself and the truth of me. It’s not even hard work, it’s just fun.

My personality at the time we started that work was not one of pushing myself forward. I just wanted to do my work and help others. But it became a business and businesses need marketing and selling.

I can talk cute as long as you wish about the knowledge that saved me, off the cuff, no problem. As me to talk about me and I immediately forget my own name. As me what I do and the answer ‘that depends entirely on you and who you are’ is apparently not a good selling technique.

Trouble is it’s true. The only way I can help you is to tune in and follow that thread. I can do that with one person or a hundred. It’s just the way I work. Don’t ask me how that happened, it just did, it’s meant, it’s my journey. That’s it.

I always wanted to just do my work and block out the noise of social expectations. I understood that the people who felt I was right for them would find me. It’s so personal it could work no other way.

A poor fit

But of course the days of generic coaching packages had arrived, and I did try. I tried so hard to fit what I do into something everyone could do, and I just couldn’t.

I was so upset and embarrassed, I was insulted by the person running a course I went on when I was just trying to get help. My husband was furious with me because being a businessman he got the business style concept. I have rarely felt so low or stupid in my life.

Yet there were six people in my field on that course, all saying the same thing. We didn’t fit those ideas. And do you know what? That was okay. Better to be real.

Especially as it was work I should never have been doing in the first place. I’m far too weird for a coaching programme of that nature.

The two friends I worked with drifted away, firstly they fell out. Then as I wasn’t any use when it came to selling my other ‘friend’ moved on. I liked her so much, but reading her book which I bought to support her as I always did, only to find I’d been edited out of her life was a terrible blow. It was so cruel. Right on top of the loss of my mother.

No excuses on my part though. I wasn’t what was needed.

As you may imagine, I lost total confidence in myself and crashed. That would never happen now.

This is me!

Cue Hugh Jackman who is now sadly single…oh hang on, I’m not. Damn!

Anyway…

Having stepped back and considered who I actually am, what I actually want, I’m now back on the right path for me.

If there is to be success let it be because I get that lucky break, not because it’s my focus. My focus is and has always been on the person or people in front of me.

You matter to me. There was a time I had no one and my original commitment still stands – to make the thinking that saved me and my continuing learning available to anyone who finds their way to me.

I’m out there on this website, and on…

http://facebook. com/debdancingstar

My book is on Amazon…

Who am I, We’re am I, What is this Place?

I’m discoverable.

Now I can get on with being me.

My way.

And the message is

I’m sure the moral of this story is obvious. If you’re not yourself wherever you are, whomever you’re with, in everything you do, flee!

If you’re cropping yourself to fit everyone else. Stop.

If it’s not the right place, right person, and right time, then it’s not your place, your person, and your time. Waste time there and you may never find your true place.

As always, the beauty of being me is that I learn from and use every experience, first for myself then for others. So nothing is ever wasted. But perhaps I have fast tracked you.

You wonderful, one of a kind, utterly unique individual.

Deb xx