The need to be ‘better than’ arises from fear of not being good enough. Even billionaires suffer from it, as witnessed with Musk and Zuckerberg. Talking about a cage fight because apparently being wildly rich and successful isn’t enough, there has to be more.
In this world we judge by race, by skin colour, by gender, by success, by who your parents are, the school you went to, where you were born. It’s all irrelevant.
Better than?
- The only person you’re in competition with is yourself. Someone else’s success cannot break you unless you let it, or make you if you won’t work hard for success. Your life will work out as you make it. Look in a mirror, focus on only that person.
- You can’t be born anywhere you weren’t born. You can’t be born into money or social status if you weren’t born into it. Your gender is personal and doesn’t define you. If other people judge you by the things that were outside your control, step away from those people. You may feel that everyone is against you for reasons of race, colour, gender, and social status, but that feeling will hold you back. Besides, you haven’t met everyone, now go out and find the people who don’t care, they’re your tribe.
- Define better than. My definition is that kind, respectful, inclusive, considerate, supportive people are the best people in the world, so if you’re going to try to match anyone, match them. If people aren’t like that, no matter which category they feel they excel in, or that being born (insert nationality/colour/gender) makes them better than others, you have a clear message and you know what to do. Never stay anywhere you’re getting hurt.
Ultimately, people who choose to think they’re better than others for any perceived product of their own mind have real problems. If you listen to them you’ll have real problems to. Don’t listen just:
- Define what kind of life you want.
- Ignore all the doubts that pop into your head.
- Go out there, live your life, fight for what you want, and only change direction if you find something better. If something doesn’t work, regroup, try again.
One thing I guarantee you, the people you feel hold you back, or the people who try to put you down in order to feel better about themselves, none of them can stop you if you won’t be stopped.
You deserve the best, everyone does. Don’t let a load of hot air hold you back.
Go get it.
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 