Peace and Quiet

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

I need a lot of peace and quiet. As an empath I pick up on emotional energy, and even way before I knew that I was happiest upstairs on my own. Never had a problem with it. That’s our ultimate security blanket.

I do love people though, that’s why I work and why I write. I’m not one of those recluses do will tell you that they hate people. There are over 7 billion people on this planet and I find the idearudukous that the infinitesimal number I’ve met are representative of the whole.

I’ve also never hated anyone in my life, violent people just fill me with sadness that they even exist.

Lazy?

I love the tone of this question, it evokes those not a care in the world days, no guilt, feet up, sun or warm fire, perfect drink, good book. It made me smile when I read it.

I do wonder if today’s social attitudes make it harder for people to enjoy those lazy days though. So many hours expected at work, and so little time to squeeze the rest of your life into.

Also, today’s western societies seem always to be on the go, searching, achieving, working, exercising. Which bites beautifully into the more denigrating meaning of lazy. Bone idle.

Lastly, we have achievement and success. There’s long been an attitude in the UK that if you’re not an achiever, striving for success, you’re wasting your life and that’s an outrage.

Unproductive

That’s an interesting word isn’t it. Why do we have to be productive? Frankly in many ways this world needs to stop producing, it also needs to stop thinking of humans as a money making resource.

You don’t have to be productive/you are allowed to be productive. It’s a lifestyle choice not a badge of honour.

You are especially allowed to use your energy on your family, to play with and connect with your children, and see them grow up. Not to waste one precious moment that you’ll never get back.

You’re also allowed to use your energy on yourself. Your way. To be dynamic if you want to, and not if you don’t. To be successful or not. To define what matters to you and live that.

The answer to the question

This a life changing question. One you need to consider and address. It’s about deciding who you are and living that way.

I need quiet. That’s it. Anyone who thinks that’s wrong is not me. I sleep late because I go to sleep late. Usually 1-8 am, but then I’ve never leapt enthusiastically from bed in my life, unless I’m on holiday. If you want to see me powered up what are you doing between 4 pm and midnight?

That’s perfect for a writer, to be able to work in their own productive time whatever that is. It’s perfect for a medium and public speaker, they tend to do a lot of evening work too. I’m perfect for what I do. I’m upside down in a 9-5 job.

Where are you perfect? Do you need to be productive? Do you need to be busy? Not busy is not lazy no matter what others say. Letting others do all your work is lazy, being still is calming to be around.

The big secret I laughed at

When I was young I saw my parents retirement as the most boring, unadventurous thing I could possibly imagine. Now I know they had everything just right.

They didn’t need to travel, to experience, to get out there. They needed each other. They’d been separated by work for decades, they were enjoying being able to just be together. For them a walk together, watching TV together, was everything they ever needed. I’ve turned into my parents and I’m grateful for that.

If my husband, cat family, and friends are okay, and I feel good, then my life is whole, perfect, and complete.

There are amazing things I want to do, experiences I want to have, but they’re the bonuses. My baseline, my foundation, is simple.

I don’t care what others do, I support them in doing it.

I find those lazy moments to be a blessing in a life tortured by acute anxiety for over 40 years, tortured by people and the wrong jobs.

To be able to sit quietly and Be makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world who has learned the most magical secret, and is living it.

Why do you think the British Royals head for Balmoral every summer? For beauty, simplicity, and being together. That’s the only time they can walk the hills in peace. I’m so glad our amazing late Queen died in her beloved Scotland, her peaceful place.

Don’t live the needs and ideas of others. Live your own.

To being ourselves

Deb