Until I went to college to do a course preparing mature students for university, I was terrified of maths. When they tested me I did get my highest ever marks in maths, but they said my workings out were extraordinarily complex. 17.5% = 10% + 5% + 2.5%!
The tutor started with a 32 point formula and proved to us that we could solve it! The she said that we had millions of different ways we could use 26 letters, and had to know our their from our there from our they’re, but only the numbers 0-9 to deal with in maths. She also said that you can only understand the universe with numbers, not words. You use words to explain the numbers. I love the stars and mysteries of the universe, so that resonated with me. This poem is the result, love to all the maths-phobics out there, may you recover soon!
Numerical Stress I should never have worked in a place full of numbers It isn’t a place for grammatical bumblers I’ve put things in order in sort of way Though I warn you today is just not a good day As I’m all in a pickle and all in a stew And can’t really remember if three comes after two So it’s all your own fault if it’s in a right mess As I don’t function under numerical stress If you find all your forms are at sixes and sevens Then look for your fives just behind your elevens Should you find that your nines are in front of your fours Kindly remember the blame is all yours Because I spell my numbers and no I can’t add So as you employed me - I’m afraid it’s your bad But as I’m a great gal who tries to be nice I’ve checked all these numbers not two times but twice! Deb Hawken Recovered maths phobic 1997
Deb Hawken - Amorah 