Look Deeper

If you’ve suffered abuse this blog may help, but this is about more general issues, nothing I write will ever trivialise abuse.

Recently I had a weird situation with some people in my life. My husband noticed changes towards us both too. We weren’t sure what was going on and didn’t want to assume. Assuming makes an ass of ‘u’ and me. That’s not a desirable look.

I was puzzling over it all, when my spirit guide Amos stepped in, as he will, and said ‘look deeper’.

Because God gave us free will even your BFF for literally ever, can’t take control by telling you exactly what’s wrong and what you need to do. No one wants to be fired by God after all. In truth it’s a good thing as we only learn by learning. So I expect those kind of quiet pointers that land with the impact of a tsunami. I know what to do with them.

Get below the problem

I’m very lucky, I don’t have to work. It’s not lucky not to have children, and I do have a borrowed daughter and grandchildren, even so, my life is my own to define. Whereas that’s not true everywhere. Pressure on others can be immense.

The more I delved the more I saw that there were (their) reasons to be irritated with us. Sometimes, when you are financially fortunate, people act as if you as if you’re not allowed to be fed up with life, to want different things, to be unhappy. Yet they will also trot out that money can’t buy happiness. It makes life far easier but it certainly doesn’t but what matters. Those thugs are free. Love for one.

The good stuff also never outweighs your past and it’s effects. So you can look more fussy, weird, anxious than you ‘have a right to be’, as it were.

‘It’s alright for you’ also applies with weight, looks, fitness, how you age, what you do, how you do it. If you’re talented or successful, it’s easy, not sheer hard work. If you’re financially fortunate (but not born wealthy) that’s not sheer hard work either.

They’re unhappy

This is all deeper emotional stuff based on unhappiness. It’s completely logical when you’re struggling to resent others who aren’t, even if quietly they’re struggling in their own way.

Best to assume that people are no matter how good they look on the surface.

But it’s only human to feel frustrated, look at the lives of others, and find reasons why they don’t deserve whatever. Then feel that they have no right to (insert ‘whatever’ here) when you don’t have that. They irritate you because they don’t know how lucky they are.

Looking deeper helped me to see differences between us that are no ones fault. No one was doing anything wrong here. It’s a situation driven by the pressures of life, nothing more.

We’re all doing our best but we none of us can 100% please ourselves so we’re not going to be able to please others.

Looking deeper gives you a gentler understanding if you don’t go looking for fault and blame.

I operate on the certainty that I am Human, I can be downbeat at times, things that make no sense to anyone else do make me uncomfortable, doing new things unsettles me. I know I shouldn’t be like that but I’ve 90% won the battle of my past and that’s pretty good all things considered. It annoys me though, so I’m not surprised it’s irritating to others.

Reach into your heart and your humanity for a deeper understanding of others. Look at the irritations, the actions, and try to see what may be underneath it all, without judgement. It helps. Don’t ask yourself or anyone else to be perfect. They/you can’t.

Let’s just keep doing our best.

Deb x