It’s a Punch

You think of it as words
But it’s a punch
A blow to the gut
A wound to the psyche
A thrust to the heart

Have confidence you say
I did before all the punches

You wouldn’t expect someone
To pole vault with a broken leg
Yet you expect me to be
Confident
Witty
Composed
Capable

Whilst constantly telling me that I am none of those things
Unworthy in your eyes

But I am worthy in the sight of God
And He is much kinder than you
And stronger
He is capable of loving us no matter what we do
He is strong - in the right way

Arguments
Insults
Snide comments
Are all weaknesses
The path of the scared
Scared that you are in some way wrong

There can only be one reason to diminish someone
That is to make yourself feel
Bigger
Better
Stronger
It doesn’t work

For too long I allowed insults to be cloaked as love
“I’m only trying to make you stronger
To make you stand up for yourself”
“I want you to feel that you are beautiful
Perhaps some botox although we can’t afford it
Maybe lose some weight and cut your hair
Change your make up – have some lip fillers
Some sit ups would flatten that flabby tum”
Punch
Punch
Punch

If those were actual blows
You would be in prison by now
But you despise anyone
Who raises their hand to another
Yet words do far more damage for far longer
Especially when you’re pretending that it’s help

You fool no one
No harsh words are part of love
No unkindness is loving

In reality

I am soul
I am divine
I am the light

As such

I am strong
I am capable
I am worthy

I have found myself despite you
And you have lost me



Deb Hawken
August 2021
(Inspired by 1974 to 1991)