That image was taken in Matlock about 3 weeks ago. It’s relevant because I’m in the camp of finding nature magical, and it also represents (somehow) that human and spirit are one, and both immensely practical.
Most people find their spiritual path or receive their biggest shift through deep unhappiness or trauma. I’m one of those people.
Emotionally bullied for most of my childhood and adult life, sexually harassed at work for 10 years in the days that was just seen as typical male behaviour. In a marriage no sane parent wouldn’t have fought, let alone talked you into, for 13 years. Finally dumped by a family who wanted to blame my ex for everything but were at least as screwed up in their different ways. As was I by then.
It’s all good though, it all made me who I am today, and while I would rather have done it the happy way, I’m still glad I was given the opportunity to heal from a poor upbringing on many levels. None of which were physical abuse. They were the kind of there and not there things that make you think you’re the one who’s crazy.
God found me
I went to church alone at the age of 7, it wasn’t so much that I found God there, as that I already knew He was there and that I needed to connect.
Nowadays I don’t believe in the classic view of God, I believe that energy is found within, not through a human interpreter. I still have some respect for the church and some of the fine clergy – the Bishop of London is my favourite – but I don’t believe you ever find the God force energy externally. You have to connect with it. Many church-goers do exactly that. Others think that attendance is enough.
There I am, 7 years old, attending church once and eventually twice every Sunday, waiting for the vicar to be quiet so that I could let my mind float you to the top of the church and find my best friend. That’s how it felt to me.
Spirit also came and found me. Although I now know that I set all this up before I came here, no one overrides free will. When I was in the most need they delivered a beautiful spirit guide. I had no idea what that was, but I found out it’s a massive dose of unconditional love and support, wrapped in love and common sense, no nonsense, and well capable of pulling you up if you wander too far down the wrong path.
The usual pull up being “shall we stop and think about this?” Followed by a load of excellent questions and a sum up of options. Or “Let me know when you want to stop hurting and I’ll be happy to help.” It’s about helping you find yourself your way.
Sometimes they will take you through past life scenarios and ask what you’re seeing. They guide, or provide new teaching but you have to do all the work. Own your own life. It’s what you came here to do.
More or less human
I’m definitely less what we consider to be human, whilst feeling more fully human. If you’d told me about this I would have expected at least a halo, maybe angels singing Barry Manilow songs, but not this new reality.
It’s all very practical, it helps you live this life in a better way. It opens your mind, teaches you how to love in a useful way, broadens your acceptance of the human condition, and changes you fundamentally. If you allow it.
I teach this now and I just love watching people step into their own power, and realise what it actually is, that it’s nothing to do with others. It’s simply being present in yourself and taking care of you. Being centred in your life, and in who you are, warts and all.
It’s not about perfection, angelic smiles, and pretending you’ve got the Angel vibe whilst generally behaving badly, but it’s okay because you’re studying to be good.
Basically it’s a no hiding place, don’t waste time on self-loathing, be willing to learn and change, recreate yourself into someone you like, kind of thing. Finding your soul and aligning with it.
I have to keep things simple because I had a PhD level in complication and letting my mind run amok.
In order to create the change I decided to create a simple focus to keep me on track and by which I could measure my behaviour. Kindness became that focus.
Kindness to others, to animals, to the planet, to myself.
That last one is important. We live in a human world and sometimes in order to protect you, you have to take difficult decisions and enact them. I just do everything I can to take the hard decisions as kindly as I can.
I can’t succeed in the eyes of others, they’ll interpret my actions as they will, and I respect that. I can though be comfortable that I genuinely, 209% (that should be 100% of course but 209 is probably more representative of my efforts) did my utmost to extract myself without making someone else feel bad about who they are. That’s never acceptable.
After all, God is watching, what’s even worse is that my Guide and best friend literally forever, is also watching. Nope, I’ve made the change and this is me. Otherwise Amos will raise his eyebrows at me and I can’t handle that! 🤣
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