How do you stay resilient in hard times?
Not an exciting answer but it’s all I’ve got. One step then another. Time to rest, comedies for distraction. If you have friends who will go out with you – great, it’s a huge help.
We’re all different though, and I’m sure there will be many excellent ideas on here today, just don’t measure your coping skills against those of others. Bodybuilders have been brought down by a spider.
In life you will continue to learn what you can and can’t deal with. As some of you know, I’ve surprised myself this year, I didn’t go to the GP because I felt I couldn’t even cope with that, turns out I can cope with more. There was no can’t, just dig in and get stubborn.
So if I were to give any suggestions about coping I would say, stop, breathe, take one step at a time and trust yourself. Don’t tell yourself you should be doing better.
Especially with grief, as a medium I’ve had so many people say to me they should be coping by now. Some have expected that inside a month! It’s a life-long thing that gradually morphs into good memories and gentle smiles. That person or pet will always be missing, but if you give it time, if you don’t cling to grief, if you smile and gently allow it to heal. It will.
My grandfather died in 1963. He’s always quietly in my heart, popping up in the back of my mind. It’s nice, he was my grandad and I love him. I’m glad I can remember him. It’s worth that quiet ouch.
I owe it to everyone and every pet I’ve lost to make them happy memories. I always tell people to claw back those memories as fast as they can. To dwell on them. The entirety of that life not just the bad times. No one deserves to be remembered just for the bad times.
For those moments when you first relax a little then feel worried you’re forgetting them. The words of a truly beautiful poet.
However…there are a good few things that can confound us, and we can only meet each with a glint in our eyes, by straightening our spine, staring it in the eye, digging in, and saying “I’m going to come out the other side of this better!”
Then plod gently towards that, allowing the negative moments so that you can learn from them, crying when you need to, but always focusing on that day when you will wake up feeling better because you have decided that’s how it’s going to be.
At your own pace – at your own time – in your own way. No judging yourself, no wrongs, no rights, it’s an unknown path and you can only experiment and discover what works for you.
It takes time and patience, the allowing of grief and negative emotions, resting and recuperating, to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
Which pretty much applies to every problem.
With thanks to man and mum for the pigheaded Stubborness.
Best love – especially if you’re going through it right now
Remember I’m here to help, don’t hesitate to reach out. I am a Coach with a difference 😉.
Amorah – Deb
Thanks OpenAI/Chat GPT – worked hard today.
