Gentleness and Logic

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

We all have negative feelings, and the first thing I ask people is always:

What caused it?

Then I give them paper and a pen and get them to write everything down. It can look dreadful when you see it all on paper, but if you take a step back you realise that you’re not being negative, your feelings have a real cause.

Once you can see the problem you can use that knowledge to create change.

That’s the logic.

Gentleness

Comes in to stop people beating themselves up for getting something wrong, making a bad decision, allowing someone to bully them, over-spending, struggling with the kids, and so on, and on.

Beating yourself up is time consuming and solves nothing.

Repeat “I’m only human” three times. Sit with the idea until you can feel it as truth, because it is truth.

Don’t feel stupid. Introduce me to someone who says they’ve never put a foot wrong and I’ll give a one word reply “wait”.

In truth I’ll be sceptical as to the truth of that statement, but as I said to my ex once when he criticised me: “You’ve had everything handed to you on a plate, wait until you face a real challenge.” He broke. He had no capacity to cope.

So go easy on yourself. Acknowledge where you didn’t make the best decisions, learn from that, and move forward.

Inaction is not a strategy

Constantly talking to people, acknowledging your errors over and over again, revisiting the issues, none of these are action and none of them help.

If I handed you a red hot poker you would instantly drop it wouldn’t you? So drop those problems just as fast and move to damage limitation and change.

Exercise and fun are strategies

Excercise will work off the stress and anxiety. Fun makes you feel good and feeling good gives you energy.

Nothing is more important than feeling good

Feeling lousy saps your energy.

Lastly – the mind

The way you think got you into your current situation, so change the way you think. I suggest Joe Dispenza as a starting point. If he doesn’t resonate with you, you can follow a thread from him as it were.

Change your mind to truly change your life.

Hope those tips help.

Best love – stay safe

Amorah – Deb