Loving the Retired Life

Posted bydebdancingstarhawken7Posted inUncategorizedTags:,

What were your parents doing at your age?

Except not like this. My father had vascular dementia and my mother’s golden years were given over to taking care of him.

It was hard, but also amusing at times. My dad desperately wanted to move back to the south coast of the UK, he loved the sea and had sailed on both the Queens Elizabeth and Mary, as a Cinematographer.

It was in the early 1950s and he had autographs from some of the biggest Hollywood stars of the time. Including Walt Disney, Richard Burton, and Elizabeth Taylor.

My parents lived near the main A road to the Kent Coast, just 15 feet from their door.

Every so often my father would remember how to unlock the front door. He would wait for mum to go shopping and make his escape by walking up the road and around the barrier, then gaily marching down the A2.

We’re talking two lanes of extremely fast and busy traffic, and no hard shoulder!

The first time mum was returning home and she saw his head just bobbing up behind the wall. She called the police on her mobile, threw herself to the ground, reached through the iron railings and grabbed my dad by the scruff of his neck.

The way she described laying there frantically clinging on to a furious and struggling septuagenarian, made me chuckle for days.

The second time he got further before an articulated lorry blew him face first into a wall. There would have been nothing the driver could do.

Dad suffered some bad cuts and bruises to his face, but he was so lucky that a man in a white van stopped and blocked the entire lane to help my dad and keep him safe.

I’ve called down thousands of blessings on that man’s head over the years, even now when I think of him I add a few more.

So that’s what they were doing. Struggling together with an evil disease, still in love, still laughing together, the true loves of each others’ lives.

I miss them so much.

I’ll leave you with another funny story. Dad used to get quite frustrated with mum sometimes because, for his safety, she effectively had to be his jailer.

One day she was in the kitchen and dad came in and asked for tea and biscuits. Mum provided them and off he went. A short time later he returned, bringing his cup and plate out for her.

He then solemnly shook her hand and thanked her for taking care of him whilst Barbie was away. Two minutes later he came back into the kitchen and said to mum “I don’t know who that lady is that you asked to look after me, but she’s really lovely”.

Made mum’s day.

Bless them

Best love

Amorah – Deb

Published by debdancingstarhawken7

I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, when I finally found methods that helped me to put it behind me. My struggles led to me exploring life through poetry, then plays, and over a 15 year period I made notes for a self help book which I published in 2015. Details on the book page. Although I am a psychic medium and loved the work, it didn’t feel right for me. It was an utter privilege, but my path was the exploration of what it means to be spirit in the real world and how we can make practical use of those abilities. Nowadays I write, blog, and teach soul-centred living, which is a gentle way of undoing past programming and connecting to your essential self, or soul. If you’re interested email me and we can chat. No pressure, it’s right for you or it’s not and you will know. The groups meet on line so no going out on cold, wet, winter’s evenings. On a personal note, I’m based in the UK. Married with five cats, no children, and four grandchildren, thanks to our inherited daughter, who has gifted us four beautiful little people that bring us such joy. Hope you enjoy the blogs. Deb xx

13 thoughts on “Loving the Retired Life”

    1. Oh that fierce love never wavered. Mum was so brave after he died, but only waiting. Unfortunately she didn’t live near me so I could be of little help. I did what I could, I loved the fortnight she stayed with us each year. However, she lived with my brother and looked after my nephew and he was amazing. He saw how the Queen was welcomed into an event with trumpets, for a while he would run ahead of mum, open the door, announce her, and then close his little fist and play the trumpet welcome for the Queen. Her smile said it all.

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      1. This is the kind of love that stories should be written. You were blessed to witness that kind of love with your parents. They set a high standard. This is such a fond memory, especially for your nephew.

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    1. Thank you Dinesh. You are very kind. They loved each other always and I was so happy when mum went to join him. It was hard for them, but the day before he fell unconscious something made him laugh helplessly, and they landed up sitting on the bathroom floor crying with laughter. I hold that memory close.

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