What makes a good leader?
I’m a natural born leader. I’ve been voted in to run various groups and university teams while I was out of the room, not having put my name forward because I didn’t think of myself as a leader.
Not being humble. Just true. I didn’t know I was a leader.
The big mistake that so-called leaders make is to think of themselves as the leader, you are not. Trump is making exactly that mistake, as are many world leaders, such as Putin.
Leadership is the ultimate proof of “all power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. Don’t think for one second I’d consider myself immune to that either, not for one second. You dare not be that stupid.
So what is a leader?
Someone who can build an effective team. Someone with a quiet strength that will calm a room or situation with one look.
Someone with the right amount of stillness that makes you unsure quite what they will do, yet not one threat has been uttered. You just know they will act. Often all tension around such a leader dissipates very quickly and people come back together naturally.
Most critically, a person who respects and cares for their team, and keeps their eye on the job not their future progression.
Good leaders lead quietly from behind. They are the prop, the strength, the safety, the belief that their team can and will do this. The proud parent as it were.
I’ve written before of when my team at university scored off the charts in the team work section. We did so because we all worked well together, solved problems fast, and when it came to feeding back on each other not one bad word was said about anyone, by anyone. We were a team. We had our moments but I’m a creative thinker and that aspect helped.
It’s not so much that I think outside the box, I’ve never had a box.
Leading by cliché
To me a leader is only as good as their team, except that’s not a cliché that’s truth. All for one, one for all, united we stand, it’s all real.
That’s why politics fails. It’s why Trump isn’t a leader. I’m not fond of Sir Keir Starmer, but he knows how to rebuild relationships and create respectful connections. Plus he’s standing by Greenland and Europe despite the ‘special relationship’. As are the rest of Europe.
Our best UK leader is the very steady, calm, caring Sir Ed Davey. Few reckon him because they think he’s dull and uninspiring, but he knows he isn’t the story. The deputy leader is equally good. Daisy Cooper. Quiet, not showy, but boy do you listen when she speaks.
Problem solving with biscuits
I love this story and it’s true!
A lady in one of my groups worked in a highly aggressive office environment, huge amounts of tension. So bad that one day a colleague picked my friend’s vase of flowers up and threw it at someone else. She was at the end of her tether.
I suggested that the next time they kicked off she quietly left the room, made them all their favourite drink, added a plate of chocolate biscuits, and took them back into the office.
Once she got their attention she should say “you poor things, you’ve got yourself so upset, now I’ve made you your favourite drink and brought some chocolate biscuits. Come and help yourselves, take a breath, and enjoy them.”
Worked like a charm. They went from arguing to a standing joke of “feeling tense Viv, bring biscuits!”
She didn’t tell them off she found a solution. She didn’t even know that she was now the de facto leader of that team. She achieved peace through support. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t her original idea, a good leader seeks advice, but it’s how they carry it through that matters.
A couple of weeks later a nice new vase full of flowers appeared on her desk, and she became the quiet stability in the office.
In other words – a leader.
She was a remarkable woman who didn’t see how incredible she was.
Best love
Lead quietly – but remain the unknown quantity and always have biscuits.
Amorah – Deb
Deb Hawken - Amorah 