I spoke my thoughts out loud, into being and into reality. Now I'm not sure I know what I meant, is it possible to take them back?
People have heard me say this, so have I changed who I am? Have those words, possibly mistaken words, changed my I am or only in the minds of others?
Now I really don't know who I am. or who they think I am. Does this mean I have to be different depending on who I'm with? I do hope not, or I'll get all the me's muddled up. I just know it.
It's weird to realise that when people turn on you, it's often because you said something, and/or expressed those thoughts in actions. For you it was a moment, for them it becomes the forever you.
They see you differently now even though you may have been alive for a very long time. To them your I am has changed, to you it's been left open for reflection. Modification. Kicking yourself.
All because you were born, thought, spoke, and messed up.
One last complication though.
What if you conclude that what you said does feel right to you? Then you're a comfortable I am, and a misrepresented I am, existing in two places in space and time.
That's quite a feat! And even more bewildering.
Deb Hawken 2025
With thanks to Neil Diamond for the song "I am I said"
I'm a writer, public speaker, medium, and spiritual thinker. I suffered from acute anxiety from the age of 16 until I was well into my 50s, when I finally found methods that helped me to put it behind me. My struggles led to me exploring life through poetry, then plays, and over a 15 year period I made notes for a self help book which I published in 2015. Details on the book page. Although I am a psychic medium and loved the work, it didn’t feel right for me. It was an utter privilege, but my path was the exploration of what it means to be spirit in the real world and how we can make practical use of those abilities. Nowadays I write, blog, and teach soul-centred living, which is a gentle way of undoing past programming and connecting to your essential self, or soul. If you’re interested email me and we can chat. No pressure, it’s right for you or it’s not and you will know. The groups meet on line so no going out on cold, wet, winter’s evenings. On a personal note, I’m based in the UK. Married with five cats, no children, and four grandchildren, thanks to our inherited daughter, who has gifted us four beautiful little people that bring us such joy. Hope you enjoy the blogs. Deb xx
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Deb Hawken - Amorah 