Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
It really depends on how much guilt I want to feel, and how energised I am.
If I’m full of energy and do nothing then I might feel guilty. If I don’t feel energised then I will take it easy and not feel guilty at all.
Sometimes though I’m so chilled that I can’t be bothered to do anything, and as that’s a great feeling I won’t disturb it I’ll enjoy it.
If I lived near a beautiful beach like this then I would be more likely to be out enjoying the sea view, the sound of the waves, and the feel of the sea air on my face.
If it’s hot it saps my energy so nothing gets done and there is zero angst. If it’s cold I huddle up and keep warm, so nothing gets done and I don’t care.
I am told that exercise keeps you warmer but I don’t trust people who say that. I think they’re just tough, or maybe crazy.
Basically it boils down to the fact that I don’t like housework, can tolerate gardening occasionally, and care a lot less than I should about all things domestic including cooking. It creates so much washing up. It also takes energy, and probably adds to global warming, as does vacuuming.
That will remain my excuse for not being domestic. I impress myself sometimes with how caring I am towards the environment.
It’s not just domestic matters though. The top item on my current to do list is to find all the other to do lists I’ve lost. This includes things like getting the continental quilt cover re-sized as we picked up the wrong one and it took us a week to notice that it didn’t quite fit. Can’t take that back.
So memory is a factor but not a problem, if you forget then you won’t feel guilty because you won’t remember that you’re not doing something.
The only thing I do feel guilty about is if I ignore the feeling that I want to write. It’s a privilege when the muse visits, and if I’ve been carried away doing something and realise I didn’t capture that idea, I am cross with myself and do feel bad.
On the other hand, if I’m reading a good book, what’s guilt.
I hope that’s completely clear, because I’m very unclear as to why I am the way I am. I guess the magic that is me doesn’t include an interest in much other than writing, fun, cats, laughter and happiness. I do feel bad if I let my happiness go.
I guess the simple answer is either that I feel guilty for not feeling guilty, or yes but no.
Best love
Amorah – Deb
Deb Hawken - Amorah 