Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.
I’ve never felt in place. I’ve had times in my life when I’ve worked well with and had fun with a group. I mistook it as belonging but it was only mutual interest. That’s often the case, it’s the aim that binds you.
I wasn’t ‘in place’ in my family. Far from it. I’m nothing like them. I don’t see enough of my brother’s family to really know, but seeing them is always really nice. I’ll take that.
I haven’t been ‘in place’ in either marriage for different reasons. In the first I was a pleasing mummy tick-box exercise, in this marriage I’ve discovered the sheer inhuman pressure put on the top executives in business. It destroys family life.
As to friends, what I’ve got are magical. But I long ago realised that I wasn’t born to be popular.
It’s all okay though
People who are not popular are often so because they’re different. We think there is only one race here, and that is true, but there’s more than one energy.
There are energies that cannot connect to others. Can’t empathise. Are so terrified to be wrong they have to be right. Who will twist any situation to prove themselves right.
One good example are the women’s football and rugby teams. Some men come on the social media threads to point out that the women wouldn’t win against a male team so they’re not as good.
Firstly there are differences in size and strength that might make that true. Unless games were played we wouldn’t know. I’m sure it would be worrying for the men though in case they hurt someone; as such unfair to them as they may hold back.
But the women’s competitions are played in the exact same environment as the men’s. A team of equals at the same level.
This is just one small example of the various levels of disconnection in our world. Race, colour, gender, religion, personal beliefs.
One race – one world
In all walks of life there are people out for themselves, however much you may like and love them you’ll be dropped like a red hot brick if there’s a better option. That doesn’t make you wrong or unworthy.
In my family I was just different from the moment I was born. With brings me to type two. Or one depending on your perspective.
The others
I am an other. I started following spiritual thinking thanks to my mentor, and it saved my life. It was mainly the great philosophers, but they were the original people who realised there was a different way to be. We owe them so much.
From there I became a medium, and through that experience I realised that spirituality wasn’t just about being a medium or reading philosophy, it was recognising that you were soul and accessing that knowledge, strength, and uniqueness.
That’s where I landed up and I’m so grateful.
This helps why?
It’s impossible not to be human in this world, but years of studying and meditation practice will give you more mental and emotional control.
My journey has moved in that direction and I am a lot calmer and more centred than I was years ago.
This helps me to see that I just didn’t belong with the people mentioned above, not my fault, not theirs, I had to go out on my own and find this. It’s what I was meant to do.
That’s blame and looking back asking myself what’s wrong with me all gone!
I don’t tend to think in terms of who’s wrong and who’s right anymore, I think it terms of fit and doesn’t fit. One of us doesn’t belong in the relationship. Nothing more.
I could offer many more examples but I won’t because every journey is different, every step forward is unique, and it’s a path you must walk in your own way. I know how to show you how to do that, but I can’t do that for you. Nor would I presume to try.
Your journey in your hands with me holding your hand is exactly who I wanted to be. Not the ‘great teacher’ because that’s wrong. Empowerment is respectful of human individuality.
Ultimately
I am myself. I accept that I’m different. This was my path and I have many lovely people in this life walking alongside me.
This is where I belong, experiencing soul-centred living. It makes me weird to some people, and that’s okay. They’re a bit odd to me too.
I will leave you with the first philosophical quote I ever heard, and it’s still one of the best.
We should all allow each other to grow, see others as equals, and not cast a long shadow over anyone’s life.
Two trees growing side-by-side, neither in the other’s shadow.
That’s how to be fearlessly yourself.
Best love
Amorah – Deb
Deb Hawken - Amorah 