What brands do you associate with?
I associate with nice things, not designer things, couldn’t care less. If I like it I buy it if I can afford it, but no label on anything will sell itself to me if I don’t want it.
Wrong branding
What is the stuff of life? Is it the clothes you wear, the house you have, the decor and knick-knacks? Is it the car you drive, the phone you have, the computer you use? Or is it how you think, feel, and are?
My brand is simple: Happiness, because nothing is more important than feeling good. When I don’t feel good I try to move back to that point very quickly.
I’ve done a lot of internal work on this, until I found the right work which is simple and would have saved years of trying. On Monday evening something upset and worried me a lot, but I was able to move past it quite quickly, certainly before I went to bed a couple of hours later. I woke up completely without it.
Stuff isn’t evil
When someone talks in these tones, about what’s more important, it used to make me feel that I was doing something wrong having nice clothes, a nice home, and a nice car.
It’s important not to feel that way because that only takes away your happiness while you question what kind of person you are.
In a world where so many struggle there can be a layer of guilt attached to be fortunate. It’s not necessary as long as you’re aware of others and spread your luck around a bit. It’s only a problem when you keep as much as you can for yourself. Few of us are actually like that.
The real problem isn’t one of stuff, sometimes it’s one of buying stuff because it makes you feel happy for a short while, which is how shopping addiction develops. Not because people are greedy, because they’re unhappy.
Most addictions begin that way, unless you have a system that won’t tolerate alcohol, for instance, and you only discover that after the first drink, by which it’s too late.
The late Matthew Perry from Friends described this very well in his autobiography if you’re interested. “Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing”, if I recall correctly. He left a generous legacy behind.
Stuff/ happiness – happiness/stuff
Get your priorities right. All the emotions around life and possessions are just noise. Life is really simple:
If you feel sad, angry, or unhappy, it’s a lousy life. If you feel good it’s a great life.
Prioritise feeling good and the rest will pretty much take care of itself. Throw in a decent diet, appropriate exercise, fun and laughter, and you’ve pretty much got it made.
Now go out and build a happy life, a beautiful home, buy that car if you can afford it. Just don’t lose sight of what really matters:
Feeling good
Best love
Amorah – Deb
Deb Hawken - Amorah 