Where did your name come from?
The long answer is that my birth name is Hebrew, a centuries long answer. The short, modern answer, is an argument. Mum wanted one thing, dad wanted another, auntie made a suggestion. Unfortunately they went with it.
I have a powerful personality I could have done with a softer name. Debra can be said very softly, antipodeans say it beautifully, they stress vowels. The English stress consonants so you get the hard D and B.
It’s not a name to have if you’re in trouble, and I was generally in trouble. It lands like a brick in your solar plexus when it’s yelled at you.
The annoying thing about all my names, two forenames and three surnames, is that I’ve had to spell every last single one of them from the moment I could tell someone my name! And they’re not my names! Any of them!
That’s important.
Deb and Amorah
When I met Tony I introduced myself as Debra, not Debbie, for the first time in my life. I’m not a Debbie, it’s a perfectly nice name just not me. There’s a quiet strength in me that Debra suits.
However, Debra and Hawken together sound very formal, so one day I just said Deb when I introduced myself, and I thought “Yes! Simple, to the point, no unnecessary letters!” It suits me. As such I became happier
An example of resonance would be that, oddly, the surname I like is Grant. It has a biblical meaning for me:
“God grant to me and to all living beings good health, safety, security, abundance, and happiness. Grant us the courage to accept differences, and the grace to respect the importance of the animal kingdom and natural world. So be it.”
Grant would remind me as I walk through this world to keep sending out positive prayers, which are of course affirmations, to anyone or anything I see that needs them. It’s a nice thought.
Although I’ve meandered through ideas here, and I like doing that, looking at one thing in different ways, the resonance of a name is carried with you throughout your life.
Names mean more than we think
Ask a numerologist, they will only work with your full birth name, no matter how many times you’ve changed it. The results are quite extraordinary.
Your name carries an energy and clues. If you don’t like your name, just stop and think how you feel every time you hear it. You may be used to it, but how do you feel? You can literally be uncomfortable all your life. Think about that!
It’s yours to change. To add a nickname. To flex it as I did and make it your own. Don’t carry with you something that isn’t you. Especially if you’ve had an unhappy past, or relationship, leave the names behind if you want to. Set a different intention.
Finding my name steadied me
It fact matter that it will only be used within my work, because it’s defined my work.
I tried and trained in a lot of things and had to keep saying no because nothing was right. Logical, doable, but inside it was wrong.
No matter what anyone else thinks, you are right for you. Don’t break yourself to fit their mould.
When I was given Amorah in a visualisation it fitted like a glove. I added the loving light meaning to it because to me it is a clear statement of intent. Amorah means “Loquacious, one who communicates”, in Hebrew. That’s true of me, but loving light is the intention that drives me.
I wasn’t shown love and I know how important that was in my life, how destructive it is to never be showed to be right however hard you try. I still try. I still fail.
Because you can never be right if someone else needs you to be wrong.
I was wrong in someone else’s eyes last week, but it was a greater good thing. So I had no choice.
Most importantly, from as far back as I can remember I’ve never understood the unkindness of this world. My family were toxic I’m afraid. No judgement just fact. I got caught up in it for a short while and nothing did me more good in life than the horrific shock when I realised. It changed me instantly, for good.
Amorah is what I was born to be, a loving light. A reminder of what is good, is always good. We need a lot more good.
With love
Amorah – Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 