How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?
This wouldn’t be a great likeness but the image felt right somehow.
As I focus on it I realise that I’m a pretty plain person. Hair simple, make up simple, no frills or flounces that can catch in a door, or leave me racing after a train because my cardigan is caught in the carriage door. I could manage something like that.
I’m middle sized, middle aged would be a fib but it’s how I feel. Late 60s still feels young to the right mind.
I would say that for all my simplicity and laid back dress sense, like that image you will notice me when I walk into a room. I can command a stage and engage an audience. Like her I’m coming straight at you.
She illustrates my missing femininity, I’m way more masculine in my approach and thinking. Plain spoken. I don’t play games and I don’t prevaricate.
When I first met Tony my life was a mess, I was on a knife edge emotionally and I landed up in tears. Totally humiliating, I’d far rather punch you than cry, but obviously my attempt to be a decent person prevents such thuggish behaviour.
When he asked if he’d upset me I replied with “of course you have.” He was so relieved because in a previous relationship it had been “no I’m fine” which left him feeling guilty because she actually wasn’t, only to discover that it wasn’t always him that had upset her.
I do not do games. That coming straight at you is an example of that, be courteous, be straight, sort it out. Straightness is courtesy.
The ice in the image also reflects my personality. I am a fairly stable person not given to emotional highs and lows. A bit of warmth will melt me, rudeness will freeze my backbone, and that’s a warning.
The ice crown represents my connection to spirit, the gown represents the beauty I try to carry inside me, and share. I love the night sky and meditating out into the universe where I find peace.
Apart from that my eyes are blue, my hair is dyed my natural colour, and I have two hammer toes (bent because my feet aren’t on straight apparently), which prevented me from wearing tight shoes as a young woman. So the rest of my toes are quite straight which is unusual for my age and generation. And a good thing.
Well, except the two I dropped a paving stone on, they’re a bit splayed at the top, but otherwise fine.
And yes, there is a part of me that would like to have a dress like that. She looks like a star.
That’s how I’d describe me to someone who couldn’t see, because I understand that imagery helps.
At the beginning I didn’t know what to say until I saw this image. It might not be right to describe me that way, but I certainly saw a lot of me in that image, which was surprising.
It’s turned out to be an interesting way to describe yourself.
Best love
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 