What’s your definition of romantic?
Romance is so not me. I’ve never had romance in my life anyway. I’m a rather straightforward person, my ex didn’t really want to be with me, and Tony did do his best when we met, then he went to work.
When you have a high pressured job you’re permanently exhausted, and have to have bigger reserves of energy than my husband to have time to arrange surprises, or whisk someone away on a romantic weekend.
I did try to arrange romantic things, but then I’d get the ‘sorry there’s a crisis call’, and either eat the food myself, or put it back in the fridge. I quickly knew not to arrange surprises during the working week.
Fortunately I prize honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness way above romance. Romance must be lovely, but for a relationship to last you do need that strong foundation of trust between you.
Love is the answer
I have had many lovely bouquets of flowers, often on random days rather than because he has to, I love that. I’m grateful for it. But traditional romance is a mystery to me.
Love transcends everything. If you love someone then them being unable to afford to wine and dine you doesn’t matter. If they’re not the romantic type you might wish they were sometimes, but you’ll also know it’s far less important than who they are everyday.
The trouble with romance is that much of our take on it comes straight from Hollywood, where actors are so good at the job they do you’d never guess they hated each other behind the scenes.
Okay so I’m exaggerating slightly, but the point is valid. We base our dreams on films, on books, on the Hollywood glamour image. I feel sometimes that leads to a lot of let downs.
Who knows, some of those big splashy divorces might have been over a forgotten Valentine’s Day, or 20? Or getting home from romancing someone else and being too tired to do more than peck your partner on the cheek and fall into bed.
Imagine seeing the film a few months later?
“Oh she gets all that attention from you, what about me?
“It’s only acting dear.”
“Well surely you learned something from the experience? Try bringing it home!”
Or the female version:
“Your leading men get way more attention than me! I should be treated like that!”
“When you have pecs like Dwayne the Rock Johnson I’ll consider it!”
“I’m 5’ 6” tall, I weigh 10 stone, and I only have room on my chest for one of his pecs. How am I supposed to achieve that?”
Ah romance is a minefield, go for reality, don’t trust Hollywood.
I mean, look at how many of those relationships break up. It’s not real.
Getting frustrated with each other, rolling your eyes, swearing under your breath, and staying with them anyway, because without them you’d be lost. That’s real. That’s worth having.
I have it.
Lots of love as always
Deb xx
Oops…sorry…I meant this one
Deb Hawken - Amorah 