Introductory Thoughts

I wanted to introduce the Amorah aspect of this blog site. As anyone who has read my blogs will know I just think about life and share what comes to mind, in a random kind of way.

I do that because I have never wanted to tell anyone what to do or how to be, no human has that right. With my book people love the fact that it’s a set of ideas, a road map of suggestions from which they can cherry-pick and build their own route to their desired destination. Which I hope is happiness.

However, I have felt for some time that this blog needs a distinct voice and personality, something that clearly defines my intentions to help. More structure and focus. It was when I was given my spiritual name, which I decided to tweak a bit, that I finally realised what I wanted to offer people, a loving light. Amor – love, Rah (the sun God) – light.

My why

One of the last things my mother ever said to me was, “You’re everything your father was aren’t you”, to which I offered my stunned thanks, except she went on “and it’s done you about as much good as it did him!” Which bought me down with a crash.

That was followed a few months later by an old family friend telling me that I’d lived the hardest life emotionally of anyone they’d ever met, and I didn’t deserve any of it. That threw me for a complete loop, it felt like it took the ground out from underneath me. It was almost as if it was better to think that I was a bad person who deserved it, than to realise I was a good one that people just chose to undermine. To torture emotionally. I couldn’t deal with it.

I have moved past that, and as with all such things, something good came out of it: I realised how many people there must be in this world feeling as I did. That they can’t do anything right no matter how hard they try. Or as my father once put it “I’m usually wrong, but on this occasion I’m actually wrong again.” I set out to try to do something about that.

My how

I’ve observe three things whilst working with people, and during my time learning counselling and having therapy myself.

1. Don’t keep making people repeat what upset them, it just recreates the emotions. Gain an understanding and move past it. My therapist listened to my life story, made notes after the session, then told me what I needed to move past it. He gave me tools and techniques to cope.
2. Don’t tell them how they could have done better, keep pointing out what they did wrong, or offer your wisdom on the matter ten years after the horse has bolted, and the stable door has fallen off.
3. You cannot forget the past, it is always part of your make up, it would take a very serious brain injury or illness for you to do that. Besides which, trying to forget is pretty useless as you may still be triggered at times.

So, what can you do? Do you change personality? I’ve very much changed as a person so that can happen, but that didn’t eradicate my memories or insulate me against triggers. What I have found that works, and not just for me but for others, is:

A reset

We are all born as a blank sheet of paper that adults influenced. Yes we take some of our characteristics from our parents, and back through the ancestral line, but essentially our minds are bombarded by many things we may not have wanted to believe, events we would have not chosen to experience, and feelings we would rather not have had.

Especially a society that proscribes our journey from age 2 (kindergarten) to whatever age retirement arrives in your world. A society that doesn’t allow people to evolve and grow, it tells them what to do and when, how to be, what is and isn’t acceptable.

That’s all very well but adults can have some extremely screwed up beliefs, not just in teaching you the point of terrorism, which of course has no point, but in deciding how you should be as a person and crushing anything that doesn’t fit with that image.

Again, that’s extreme, from the best parents and teachers to the worst is a long sliding scale, but too many of us encounter at least a bit of the worst in our lives, and unfortunately what hurts impacts harder and is easier to remember.

Obviously I can only speak generally here, there are billions of people in this world, and both they and all their experiences are unique.

The reset for this is:

The Big Bang

Unless you somehow realise your true longevity you will remain trapped in these patterns.

There are elements of The Big Bang in our DNA, which suggests that something that makes us, us, has been around since that trillion, trillion, trillionths of a second in which something the size of a printed full stop expanded to the size of our known universe today. Mind blowing isn’t it.

As such, ideas of reincarntion are not as crazy as they sounded before science unearthed this fact.

It’s a very real possibility that the energy that animates you is 13.8 billion years old. Obviously we don’t know how many lifetimes we’ve had arising from that, and where. I can’t remember what happened yesterday sometimes, so I don’t have a hope with 13.8 billion years.

The human body has two energy systems, material and, well, energy. Organic and soul in my mind. A human can, apparently, create a quantum wave, but there’s no way to measure it. Science is moving forward all the time on understanding the miracle we represent.

However, for my purposes I see the idea that we’ve been around for a long time as something that can free you from the effects of the past, should you choose that.

It was when my mentor proposed the hypothesis that if I was 10,000 years old and had had 1,000 lifetimes, would I have to believe anything anyone said about me or had taught me in this life, or could I reach back into myself down that timeline, and decide who I wanted to be.

That’s what I did.

I thought about myself as a unique being, not even as a human being, a ball of universal energy. Then I wondered if I had been aware as a baby, what would I have chosen to become?

Obviously I didn’t get everything right, and certainly not for the first 30 years, I’m work in progress. It just gave me a way of moving away from ‘being like my family’, being the person I’d been raised to be, believing that I was a fixed pattern.

Keep it simple

I decided to start with one word, and it was kindness.

• To others
• To animals
• To the planet
• To me

Kindness includes so many good attributes: decency; honesty and integrity; thoughtfulness and consideration. It extends to every living thing . It doesn’t include judging others and finding them wanting, thinking you’re better, brighter, prettier, cleverer. Kindness is everything that’s good including love.

That’s where I started, that’s where I still am, no I’m not perfect, no I don’t expect perfection. I accept myself as human, I love myself enough to do that. I’m kind to myself when I make a mistake, but I always remember that the decency and integrity clauses mean that a) I have to apologise or make up for it, or both, and b) I must learn from this and use it to become a better person.

Warning

One thing I learned about the path of self-improvement, which I pursued in many forms before landing at the idea of my soul being older and wiser than me but still me, was that continually striving to be better makes things a lot worse. I fell into that trap of never being good enough.

Now I am good enough, very much so, but like any highly tuned racing car, I sometimes need a quick tweak to return me to full power.

It’s one thing to be work in progress, but you should enjoy the journey and not become too paranoid. We are human, you may have an immortal soul that’s pretty awesome, but the human world will trigger you. Be good enough, and enjoy any little tweaks that come your way. Using mistakes is so powerful, because you tend to remember what you learned not the mistake.

So that’s my journey, that’s where I’m coming from. I had and still have many great teachers and inspirers, I listen to all of them, but I take what fits my blueprint, and tuck the rest in a folder called ‘further information if required’. Sometimes something you heard 20 years ago suddenly makes sense, because you’re ready to hear it or you’ve gained the experience to understand it. There is no harm in that.

It’s wonderful to learn something new that helps you to feel better, and ten times as wonderful to receive a reset or upgrade to your sense of self when you’re older. It gives you new energy and a new lease of life.

You can’t get better than that, still learning, still loving, still enjoying and experience. What’s not to love?

Best love as always

Amorah – Deb xx