Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
They were stories about a girl who was sent to boarding school in Switzerland. I was sad when she finally left school, and always wondered what happened to her. I like to think she lived a remarkable life.
In the intervening years I’ve realised that I love reading or watching anything not based in the UK. I’ve not travelled anywhere near enough, so I get to walk different streets and see different things either visually or in my mind.
Losing identity
For about thirty years I felt that the pulse of the UK beat in my veins, I was English through and through. I was proud of my nationality. No longer.
I’m sure many countries in the world feel the same, that things have changed and there is very little sense of identity anymore. Not all people in those countries obviously, but it’s wrong to think you’re the only one feeling something.
You may think I’m talking about immigration, I’m anti illegal immigration, not all immigration. I just wish we hadn’t left the EU though, in Europe the training for several key roles that we can’t fill is very similar to ours, and we’re really missing them. Plus I like them, I liked being connected to our fellow Europeans. Part of the Brexit vote was anti EU racist, not all, there were many reasons, some good.
I’m not talking about that, although obviously when you get a large number of different people of the same race turning up there are changes. I’ll give you one example.
My audiologists are all Muslim ladies, and I asked one for permission to say something to her that I was concerned may offend. She said go for it.
I told her that she and her colleagues had brought back to this country the kind of courteous, helpful, and respectful service that I recalled from my childhood. Nothing is too much trouble for them. As you may imagine that was okay, she said she would tell her colleagues and her family because it would mean a lot to them.
Yep some changes are superb. As was the kindness of the Mosques during Covid. Helping anyone. Of course they’ve always been like that, but we got to see it.
In many ways the UK in all its shades mixes very well, every country has those who don’t though. Sadly.
What I feel I lost
The England I don’t see is the one for whom knife crime was shocking, not multi times daily. For whom crime was present but not overwhelming. It’s also worth noting that over 60% of knife crime in the UK is committed by white people. It’s right that this should be known.
The England without grooming gangs. The one where you could trust the police, the NHS. The one shocked after WWII that knew the value of life and people.
In truth it disappeared long before I realised. It disappeared across the world, not just England. The finer emotions are called woke now and that’s an insult.
I wonder, did those childhood books set me up with a false narrative? Jo had her problems but she never had to fight a teacher off.
I wonder, did I really live in a nice world for the first thirty or so years of my life?
I met my fair share of very nasty and unkind people, and I met the lovely ones who were smaller in number but eclipsed the darkness with their light.
I’ll never really be sure. But the historic crimes coming into the open now tell me we were less honest about who we were, and not just in one country.
What I’ve gained – that light
Perhaps my Spiritual beliefs have made me closer to my soul, which is light and atoms, as every living thing is. That’s so much more inclusive.
Perhaps I simply don’t need to be English anymore? One friend who follows spiritual thinking said to my sister that she didn’t think I was from here, I was a star person, from the Pleiades or something. My Sister smiled. I thought “Aren’t we all”.
We are stars. All the same energy – atoms. From the same place, the universe. Elements of the Big Bang are in every living thing, including our DNA.
You know something? This is definitely the best way to think of ourselves.
One with everything – every living thing
So, where did this go? It meandered from childhood fantasy, to changing reality, and landed at the recognition of the oneness we all share with everything.
So I will read and watch things not set in the UK, and enjoy those visits and experiences. I will take refuge in fantasy sometimes to rest my mind.
I will be a citizen of the stars, a connection of yours, a protector of the animal and insect kingdoms. I will speak for recognition of the true inclusiveness of this world and this universe at an atomic level.
Atoms make one atomic field. Hurt someone or something else and you hurt yourself too. That cannot be avoided – we are extensions of one another.
This is who I am.
Amorah
Loving Light
With love
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 