Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
Nothing is more important than feeling good
Andy Dooley
For some who like their inspiration to be cerebral and complex, this saying would be dismissed as being too simple. Too easy.
That kind of thinking often leads to failure.
The truth is that it is the complication of modern life that undoes us, puts pressure on us, and the simpler the solutions the better.
We all need healing and improvement to be fast and effortless.
The complexity conundrum
We all know that if we can calm the mind solutions appear. Whereas if it’s running around like a rat in a trap, doing housework, planning the next meal, getting ready for work the next day, mentally creating a to do list that will immediately be forgotten, and worrying about the kids, finances, mum, and the state of the world, there is no space for the solutions to appear.
Quieting the mind so that you can get to your true feelings and needs below all the noise, is key to stopping you bouncing from one mistake to another. Repeating what you’ve already done only to discover that it still doesn’t work.
Puzzling and posers
The question though is, what is your aim? Not what you’re trying to change but what you want your life to be?
Actually those aren’t the questions. The real question is:
How do you want to feel and what actions would bring you closer to that feeling?
This is when the questions you’re posing can become puzzling because often we don’t really know what would make us happy. We tend to live in reaction to society’s rules rather than in line with the person we are.
So, there you are, trying to change, scratching away at the top level of your problems such as hating your job, being in the wrong relationship, and so on. Nothing is working because your real aim has not been identified.
Unwrapping the key question
We live life externally, job, house, money, family, etc., but in truth life is experienced internally. What you do out there in the real world affects what’s going on inside.
As such starting with physical things you want and need is the wrong approach to solving your problems, and creating the life of your dreams.
The right approach is to decide how you want to feel about your life. If you want to keep trudging towards the common aims of society then deal with the external. If you want to love your life start with your emotional aim.
Nothing is more important than feeling good
Gives you a strong, clear focus to help answer any question and make any decision.
If whatever you’re considering ticks that box, that’s an automatic yes. If it may tick that box try it but be prepared to walk away if it’s not right. If you know for certain that you will not be happy, don’t do it.
It is that simple.
Choices
You can make money in a miserable job, or a happy one.
You can partner with or marry a person you get on with, or one that makes you unhappy yet somehow you can’t walk away. Why do we do things like that? It makes no sense.
I’m not alone in marrying someone who was already making me unhappy. Was it because he asked? Was it because I didn’t want to disappoint his family and mine? I don’t know. I do know that I felt desperate before that wedding and so trapped. My dad gave me a way out, yet still I didn’t take it.
Had I encountered that simple quote above, would it have helped me? The answer is no.
Because…
I wouldn’t have taken it seriously. It would have been nice words. I may have got a piece of tape and stuck it to my wall, pointed it out to friends, commented on how inspired it was.
I would not have taken the most important step, realising the importance of that message and that I was supposed to turn it into action.
I didn’t know anything about inspiration at that time, I’m not even sure I’d heard the word. I didn’t realise that there were people who existed to write words to make me think. To make me question. To make me realise that I was important.
Useful list
- You are important
- You are the equal of everyone
- Money and status makes no one more important
- Poverty and lack of success do not make anyone less important
- You do deserve the best no matter what anyone has told you
- You have the same right to be happy as everyone else
- Something that continually goes wrong is unlikely to come right
- Never settle for second best
- Education is not as important as common sense and drive
- Making money won’t solve your inner problems
- Dreams can be made into reality if you work at them
- You are important and deserve the best of everything
That last point was a deliberate repeat. As is:
Nothing is more important than feeling good
Best love
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 