Easy Answer

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

My upbringing wasn’t great. It was very isolated. I had almost no knowledge of the wider world and the variety and diversity out there. Although we weren’t wealthy I was very sheltered.

As you may imagine, I went out into the world much like an untrained puppy: young; enthusiastic; playful; kind; clueless.

Dealing with the sheer unkindness out there nearly broke me. It wasn’t that others tried to gently correct and advise me, they targeted me, picked on me, and said things to me that stunned a good few people who knew me well.

I was just that puppy who needed gentle direction. I’ve always listened to others, but at that time I didn’t know that you have to decide who you are because there will always be someone to tell you that you’re not good enough. They love targeting those they perceive to be weak.

I lost myself so I decided to do something about that. I had a really interesting friend who was a hypnotherapist. I asked him for help and I’ve never looked back. He is the bedrock on which I stand. I also mentor the way he mentored me. I don’t tell you who you are, I help you find out.

Words I will never forget

One of my colleagues who had been particularly unpleasant, went through a bad time. Obviously I held out a hand. I understood how it felt to feel that you were losing not just your mind but yourself. We talked a lot.

It was Peter that gave me the compliment that meant everything. The one that told me that all the inner work I’d done was succeeding. I continue to monitor me.

He said:

You’ve turned yourself into one of the genuinely nicest people I’ve ever met. You did it yourself.

That not only blew me away, it’s what makes me stop and think even now. Am I living up to me? Was that worthy of me? Did I handle that well or could I have done better?

I have no problem with that kind of reflection, it takes nothing from me if I need tweaking, I am only human and it comes with a responsibility.

At the end of the day you can ride roughshod over others, denigrate their race, colour, creed, religion. Find them wanting at any and every level. Start wars, bomb innocents, destroy cities, live in fear and hate.

You can amass more money than you can ever spend, and watch other humans die of disease, starvation, or as a result of missiles designed to eradicate them.

You can pick on people from their hair colour, to their walk, figure, height, gender, colour, area of birth, religion, type of school.

Or:

You can be the antidote that will one day stop these things.

I choose the antidote. I choose love and everything that comes with it.

Fearlessly.

Those words that day are a good part of why I am the way I am. That compliment meant so very much, that I respect it by living up to it, to this day. As best I can.

Because no matter who you are, or where you are, you matter.

Unconditional love – please be it.

Deb xx