Already Answered

What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?

It’s Ann. Dad chose it. Mum didn’t like it because people would call me Annie and she would spend the rest of her life screaming “her name is Ann.”

Instead I was called Debbie, which never felt right and I just can myself Deb now. Personally, I find Debra to be a name that makes me feel like I’m in trouble because I only got full-named when I was. Debbie feels too feminine to me. Personally remember. I’ve met many Debbie’s it suited perfectly.

My personality is extremely straightforward, there is no second side to me, those who know me know I can be tough and they also know I control that. Deb says that; what you see is what you get, I don’t need the extra letters.

But when you talk about a name…

I was a Debra when it wasn’t a normal spelling. So I always had to spell that. Ann has no E so I always had to spell that. I was a Chegwin before there was a famous one; only the Cornish understood it. Not only did we always have to spell that, we once got a letter to Mr and Mrs Chicken.

I also found it to be a hard sounding name until we went to Cornwall and a man told dad that it should be pronounced Shegwynne. Very softly. But you could never have explained that difference between sound and spelling!

Can you spell that? Oh so it’s Chegwin! With suitable eye rolling at our pretence at having a fancier surname than it looked. I wouldn’t have blamed them.

Now I’m a Hawken, also a Cornish name, and yes we get Hawkins’d. It literally freezes people’s minds, their pens stop when we spell it, they write an I, they look puzzled, it can be quite funny.

To be honest none of my names have ever felt right. I do have a tough side but anyone who knows me will tell you that my compassionate side is far stronger. When others give up on people I’m still there, because I’ve been a mess and I know how hard the fight is when you’re exhausted beyond measure.

Hard names are not me.

I wonder if any of you out there have experienced the same weird path I have with names?

A spiritual life

When you put your feet on this path everything changes. For me it was in a practical way. I have worked in the spiritual field, would again if I were called to it, and still do but in my own way. But it’s not airy-fairy. It can be quite hard graft at times.

I found my true self and now I help people find theirs. undoing faulty human programming and defining a better, kinder, way. Their way, I guide nothing. That kinder is to themselves, rediscovering the incredible people they still are despite everything. I am utterly blessed by the work and them.

They become who they want to be, as I did. It’s phenomenally healing as your past just stops mattering. It was lived by a person with inappropriate programming, when you undo that you are no longer that person.

What has been special is that you can be told your favourite name of all your lifetimes, and when you are everything changes. I feel like me now.

It’s Amorah. Amor-Rah. It’s Hebrew and it means “Talkative, eloquent, one who possesses the gift of communication”. It all fits.

But to me it means something even more special:

Amor – love

Rah (the Sun God) – light

Loving light. I’ve rebranded my Facebook page, I’ll do my website banner to match.

It might sound a bit corny, but all my life I’ve wondered why people can’t be loving, how they can possibly kill and hurt each other so much. This world disgusts me at the moment, so many wonderful people being hurt by those who think war, violence, nastiness, and trolling have a point. They don’t.

To me, to try and shine the light of love on this world feels right. It’s the first time my work has felt fully defined which heroes tremendously with focus.

I don’t care how long it’s taken, it feels wonderful. It’s lovely when you find something wonderful when you’re older, it means so much more.

With love