Coping Emotionally

There are several simple factors in life that make this a very difficult world to navigate emotionally.

• Beliefs: We humans fail to realise that the word beliefs does not mean right. Our beliefs are generated by our life experience, and may make no sense to other people who have lived a different kind of life. A lot of stress and tension is generated over beliefs, from which political party you follow, to religion, and at the most extreme and of the scale – wars. If you want to cope then sometimes it’s better to allow others to think differently and retreat while you are still fairly sane.
• Energy: A multifaceted and often ignored aspect of the human condition. Yes we think about energy in terms of being tired, but there is also emotional energy. After exercise and hard work, draining of the emotional energy is a big culprit in feelings of tiredness. Protect your emotional energy by limiting the things that upset you as much as you can. Especially if you’ve suffered a recent loss or relationship break up. Which brings me to:
• Death experiences: There is more than one kind. The loss of a loved one and pet is the one most commonly associated with death, but the break up of a relationship is a death experience. Particularly if you’ve been in it a while. You won’t just lose the partner, but friends may back away. You will probably lose in-laws, maybe children in the family. Then there’s losing a job, that takes away your livelihood and it can significantly change your life. To lose your means to support yourself is a death experience. Retirement is not so bad as you know it’s coming, but it is a huge adjustment. When you go through any significant change, nurture that body with good food, nurture your mind with positive forms of distraction, and don’t expect too much of yourself. Shock takes time to subside. We all know this, then many people blame themselves for not coping. The mind and emotions need to heal exactly as the body needs to heal, and you need to be kind to yourself and give you time.
• Fear: From arguments, stress, tensions, violence, through to wars, the fear of difference is a major factor in all kinds of emotional upheaval. For some reason we need to protect an all-powerful god, no matter how you spell the name. For some reason we humans need to believe that ours is better, or right-er. We’re the same over nationality, for example the English and French are supposed to hate each other for historic reasons, and some people carry that idea even today. It’s utter nonsense. We went to the famously allegedly unfriendly Paris, and were treated with the utmost care and consideration by everyone we met. It was a lovely experience; perhaps because I taught myself to say ‘I’m sorry I don’t speak your language’. A touch of kindness and respect goes a long way. I won’t keep listing all the reasons humans can find to fear each other and turn that to righteous anger, suffice it to say that it’s best to avoid those situations as much as you can.
• Woke weakness: When you try to protect yourself emotionally you will meet people who think you’re weak. You will find the same if you’re politely spoken, courteous and respectful (woke and weak). You have to live with your emotions and mindset. You have the right to avoid what doesn’t support good mental health. It’s not weakness it’s wisdom.
• The minds: You have three, superconscious, conscious, and subconscious. The superconscious is a state of mind seen as being beyond ordinary conscious awareness, mainly accessed by meditation practices. It’s seen a heightened perception, deeper wisdom, creative and spiritual insights that go beyond normal human ability. The conscious is the consciousness you use everyday. The subconscious is an interesting one. There has been a lot of study done as to what it is and how it works. The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Dr Joseph Murphy is worth a read to understand the complexity. But some see it as our soul energy, our inner healer, and our deeper knowledge. Obviously explore the minds yourself, but learning to use each aspect of your mind in a controlled and directed way, will help enormously to navigate the slings and arrows of billions of emotions flying around this world.
• Body: We all know that exercise clears the mind, good food supports our bodies, and feelings of wellness support our emotions. It’s just important to realise that it isn’t just the mind or the body, it’s mind and body together that need to be protected, cared for, and rested. Resting one won’t help the other. You’re a package deal.
• Soul: This is an interesting one, but I’ll share my personal take on it. It’s who you are. It’s your blueprint going back over time. Imagine if your energy has been around since the Big Bang (there are elements of the Big Bang in our DNA), and that you might have had many lifetimes. That makes you truly unique. Thinking of yourself that way can make you feel stronger and more centred in yourself. You don’t have to be ‘just like’ anyone in your family line, you can change it. If you realise you have a false belief generated in this lifetime, you can change it. You’re a powerful being and you get to choose who and what you are, you don’t need to live someone else’s hangups.

Obviously I could keep going, but I hope that there are a few ideas to help you with your emotions. Obviously social media is something to consider, as is being bored playing with your phone all night when you used to enjoy a good book. Distraction with a book or really good TV programme or film are lovely ways to rest the mind. Obviously avoid violence if you’re feeling low.

Ultimately though, just believe in yourself and your right to be happy. Don’t aim for anything else. Don’t believe that no one is ever happy, etc., they’re things humans trot out because they’ve been taught it. Remember belief doesn’t equal truth! Believe in better and make that true.

Deb xx