Not That I Can Think Of

Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?

I’ve mainly stopped activities and hobbies for a reason. Usually not good. With the last one I was lied to, made to feel a fool, and then the people that I thought the world of slipped up, as people who lie to be kind always will, and told me. I was shattered.

I’ve found that you can join something you absolutely love, and then life changes, or people change.

I joined one group and thrived for a couple of years, then one person joined, a really nice person, and I just knew that they would change everything and not for the better. Yet I cannot tell you how much I liked them. Odd but it happens.

We were a really close group, the most supportive people I’ve ever met. Yet this person bought in another friend, another lovely person, and the energy changed again. I took a break and tried to go back, but there were more new people, fewer old faces, and it wasn’t home anymore.

When you feel like that it’s you that must leave. I lost a great deal with that one. Several of my friends from our group and others, who had been passionate about it, also walked away. It’s just the way of the world.

Yes life must move on, the old must give way to the new, but in honesty I rarely see much improvement. The world is more isolationist and not so kind now.

For those younger than me reading this, yes I’m wrong about it in your eyes, at the moment. Wait thirty years.

My grandmother said the same, my parents said the same, I thought they were just miseries who couldn’t deal with progress. They weren’t.

You only have to look at the stunning state of this world, and I’m talking Wile E Koyote running face first into a cliff stunning, to know that things right now, in front of your eyes are not getting better. Especially the younger generation.

I’m hoping with everything I’ve got that you’re the generation who bucks the trend, and avoids a war to give you the shake up that humanity needs. Too many innocents and animals die as a result of the few.

I’ve thought back as a result of this question and realised that from amateur dramatics to martial arts, to writing, to speaking, to my original spiritual work, I’ve never given up until there was no point doing anything else.

Which cheers me up about as much as it probably has you having to read this.

Sorry. But it’s comforting to think that if people had just been nice and kind, I would still be doing all those things. I can quantify every problem in my life, throughout my life, as being simply that people are too often not kind.

That’s all it takes.

Thank God there are positives

My compassion, inclusion, consideration, interest in others, passion for animals and the natural world, and so much more, all come as a result of being determined to be the difference in a real way. You cannot and should not fake it.

Say it – mean it – do it – be it.

I can’t know what it means to be LGBTIQ but I can and do know what it means to be not good enough just because of who you are. I can’t understand, but I can support and champion.

I come from the most historically downtrodden aspect of life there is, I’m a woman. From work to home the atrocities against women have never stopped. So most women will firmly have the backs of the other genders. Not all sadly. But nothing is perfect.

It’s not possible to fully understand others, but it is possible to have the compassion to know that they’ve got a point and support it.

Would I have had that were it not for all this? I don’t think so. I honestly believe that everything that I experienced made me a better person. I kinda hope I’m pretty cool now. But NOT perfect. That I know beyond doubt.

I also honestly hope that people feel safe with me. Loved. Because the people in my life now truly are loved, just the way they are. Which is amazing considering they’re not cats!

Don’t worry, they’re all animal crazy. They will get this. They forgive me for not being a cat or dog, love bird, budgerigar, guinea pig, too. 🤣

I’m glad I found an amusing note to end on, I write to inspire but in some ways it’s more fun writing about my dentist at times.

It’s hard when a question brings up the less impressive memories, but it’s also an opportunity to turn that around and remind yourself of the good that can come from these things.

Useful thoughts

You see, I chose to be different, worked to be different, I didn’t let these situations destroy me, I used them to improve myself and my life. You can do that too.

Just get away from those who hurt, fearlessly walk away from situations that aren’t right for you.

Remember always that you have the right to say ‘this doesn’t work for me’ without having to blame anyone or anything for it. You don’t have to feel bad that you feel that way. You do have to move on because you do feel that way. It’s all personal.

There’s no need to fall out, or make a dramatic exit. The faster, the quieter, the better.

Never be afraid to seek new ideas, learn new ways of being, and change yourself or your life.

Happy day

Deb xx