Pardon

What’s your favorite candy?

None. I’m a chocolate eater.

Plus my dentist would have a fit and he’s a nice guy. You see, not eating candy can potentially save lives, he could have a fit and fall on his drill. I’m so thoughtful I surprise myself sometimes.

He’s not over fond of the chocolate either, he’s funny like that, at least it’s not so hard you break your teeth. An argument that doesn’t impress him at all.

It also turns out that a hot drink accompanying chocolate doesn’t help the sugar melt off the teeth. I got no points there for trying to mitigate my sins. I thought it made sense.

He’s particularly unimpressed by mints, but I’ve perfected my innocent look on that one, that or denying all knowledge of the existence of such heinous objects. He’s perfected the sceptical look.

Word of advice, and innocent look that would gain you an Oscar won’t fall a good dentist.

I did get him at Christmas though. He told me last year that if he’s given a bar of chocolate he eats it all at once, because sugar works on tooth enamel for half an hour after you eat it. So you do less damage if you eat it in one go.

I bought him an 800g bar of chocolate and put “don’t forget – all at once” on the gift tag. He said they had a good laugh. I thought I’d built up some brownie points there but it didn’t stop him discovering decay in a tooth when he wasn’t even supposed to be looking at that tooth. I question his focus.

So no, no candy, 90% fewer mints, and not a leg to stand on when it comes to chocolate. Except I try not to mention it when he’s around. I can’t lie so a dignified silence is my only safeguard.

I’m pretty sure he hasn’t fallen for that either. Sigh.

You see, even the mention of candy has caused all kinds of existential angst.

Big love

Deb xx