What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
This blog ends well I promise
I gave up the day job years ago to concentrate on my spiritual work, at first it went really well. I had a partner in fun.
Then we had to move to get Tony a better job as he’d been job hunting within reach of Glastonbury for two years and nothing at all had turned up. That’s not unusual at a senior level, and moving areas to get work is equally normal.
My mum died a few days after we moved and that was me, an orphan. The rest of my family were effectively non-existent.
No matter what age your last parent passes, it matters. They are the story of your whole life and there are some obvious, but also very subtle shocks involved. Such as when you point to the oldie in the family you now do it in the mirror! You move from child to senior family member. Ouch.
It’s particularly hard when it also leaves you entirely alone with all your warm family memories behind you. At that time.
Then, after the move your work disappears. No phone calls from a person you trusted absolutely, a friend. Then a much loved former client rings on behalf of all the others and asks you to explain why you’re not interested in the work anymore. Your so-called friend told them you’d turned your back and walked away! You hope that the caller kept her word and put the record straight.
Not a sob story
There is no doubt in my mind that my very real spiritual beliefs are the only thing that has held me up through a life that had too many stories like this. My generation came into a damaged family, they paid the price of living it, we paid the price of the results.
It was this shock, combined with the lockdowns, that made me move to my true spiritual work, using my psychic mediumship as a method for healing your life. Bringing others into the space of incredible, simple, loving advice and support in which I live. Giving them what I have with the help of Amos.
I’ve watched it work. No my groups are not big, they’re very tight knit and personal. My newest group are already holding each other up, finding ways to help. It’s not easy when you see a wonderful person broken by life, but we’ve been broken by life and we stick with them. Their sense that they’re no longer alone is magical to watch.
We are creating a better way to be. With a lot of help as they all have Guides. I never wanted to be the power in a room because I have the Guide. It’s so genuinely amazing and useful in the real world, I wanted to share that. I’d give everyone this gift if I could.
Then watch all wars and violence stop.
It gets even better
I’ve now got the writing muse back and I’ve returned to my plays. Writing was always my true purpose, who I am, what I am, that and a cat mother, friend, partner. We’re actually married but it’s important to remember that is still a partnership.
So my constant leisure time now has purpose again.
Important
Before you carry on:
**The following in no way trivialises the effects on those who have suffered abuse or violence of any kind; been victims of war or weather. Suffered bereavement, illness or mental health issues. This is purely about navigating normal human behaviour. But I hope it may help in some way.**
The learning curve
What is interesting though is the message. Losing my work sounds bad, but it was the wrong work, obviously with the wrong person and a very rare mistake I made in trusting someone.
No I wasn’t perfect in the relationship, I’m a terrible salesperson which didn’t help at all, but I could deliver when they needed me to and that was my strength. I say that because I refuse to blame anyone when the right thing clearly happened. It had to.
Covid also worked for me as it made me find a way to reach people. The magazine I worked for that sadly collapsed, was the means to find these amazing humans.
Finally letting everything else go and accepting both ‘failure’ (of the wrong) and retirement, bought the muse back, and put me back on the path I should never have left. How lucky am I at this age (67) for that to happen! I only retired from what I shouldn’t be doing.
When it comes to people I’ve never been one for large groups of friends. I’m not a party going social animal. I need real, authentic, and accepting of humanity in my life. And that’s what I deliver, obviously.
I treasure those I have beyond belief.
So the grot at the beginning led us through a process, as life does, to the benefits of observing and allowing.
Observe what’s happening
Allow it
Seek to understand it
Wait until you do
Let it go and move forward
The past happened as it was meant to, take the lessons, use the lessons, make it worthwhile.
With love
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 