Not a Lot

In what ways do you communicate online?

I used to love communicating on line but it’s lost its gloss. Social media has become stressful, even though there are many great people on there.

We all know that the unpleasant impacts harder, so you can see a hundred lovely posts from decent people, but one truly vile one can send the stress levels rocketing. I keep an eye on my friends now but don’t wander too far from them.

Loss of reality

Social media has shared the perception of reality. You should have an option to mark a real friend as such, perhaps a close friends and family list, but we also need to be realistic that a person you have never met and will never meet is not a friend.

I have many ‘not friends’ on my social media page, but they are all decent and kind people. I’ve rarely ever had to block anyone. If one of them is reading this – I value you all, make no mistake about that.

The ‘however’ is that a friend is someone in your life, someone there, someone who takes you out for coffee, calls you when you’re low, turns up when no one else does. Who knows you. Not just the words you write on a small screen that can never express the entirety of you.

As we know, words can be easily misinterpreted.

A new reality

The new reality is that we can have thousands of friends who won’t be there, won’t pick up a phone, won’t have a coffee.

People have thousands of social media connections now, but there is more loneliness and isolation than ever before. We have growing mental health issues, and suicide is on the rise among young people. Or should I say ‘the social media generation?

The generation who doesn’t know what life looks like without it. A generation of young people who have had struggles earlier generations didn’t have. In my day (no sighing) you often heard the term “they only stay together for the sake of the children.”

You can make a case this is both a good and bad thing, but the fact is that most people stayed together and kept their commitment to the children they had created. Divorce was very rare. Living together was rarer.

So we have children from struggling single parent families now, investing more time in a fake world than a real one. One where people turn on you at the spin of a dice.

As we all know, it’s so much easier to insult in writing, than it is to risk a lash back face to face, and children shouldn’t be facing this.

It gets to the oldies too

Don’t worry if you’re younger reading this, I struggle with it which is why I avoid it. Many of my friends have dialled back.

Plus there is always balance. There is a lot that’s good on social media. I’ve moved around the country but been able to stay in touch with friends I love and miss.

I have made new real friends through it too. Which is wonderful.

Nothing is all good or all bad. But…

There are always the spoilsports

In a day and age where other countries think it’s fun to interfere in politics, hack computer systems, and tech ‘geniuses’ enjoy creating viruses that can reach into your home, your bank, your life, there is a chance that at least for a period of time we could lose it all.

I would miss it at my age. It would take a complete reset. Back to banking on the high street and paying with cash. Home telephones.

But my generation could cope. We could cope without social media. We could cope with in person connections, banking, and so on. Many younger people would cope too.

But equally many people would be lost. We know the damage Covid did when people had to stay indoors for a few weeks, and we had social media then. It showed a lack of resilience among the general public.

Moving back to more personal relationships seems to me to be a good way to go.

For me personally, the one thing I need to do is get out of the house. You can’t do that on line.

Of course, I also write, and like my fellow bloggers, it tends to be positive. Thoughtful communication through the written word by those intending to be a force for good, is a real super power.

We need more of us, and more real connections.

Deb xx