The England men’s football team and the shocking abuse they come in for, act as a clear example of the attitude of British Society, and perhaps elsewhere in the world.
The balance
They do well but they don’t win a lot, that’s true. The men’s team used to collapse at every final, especially if the dreaded penalty shoot out was mentioned, but in the latest Euros they did not, one occasion scoring the winning goal at 89 1/2 minutes.
For me this meant that they were the first team for a long time who didn’t start slumping around towards the end when they were losing, these guys fought literally until the last moment. They also won on penalties.
Unfortunately, the women’s team did collapse completely at the Euros the previous year, going from a dynamic team to one too scared to do more than pass the ball to each other. Had it not been for the goalkeeper they would have lost at least 3-0 if not more, rather than just 1-0.
The why obviously has to be attitude, this men’s team have significantly improved their attitude, I hope that the women’s team can too.
Part of the problem for the men’s team is that they earn eye watering sums of money per week, we’re talking £250,000 to £400,000. This of course means that ‘England expects that every man will do his duty!’ To quote Lord Nelson. This isn’t unfair.
When they narrowly lost the last Euros, 2-1, they did an excellent job, their passing was still too tentative, but throughout that tournament they fought all the time, and right until the semi-final it worked for them. Then they came up against one of the strongest teams in the world, and it showed.
So that’s the balance here – that meeting expectations when you’re so highly paid is not an unfair request. However, what is unfair is that their major league teams won’t give them time to train together. Not their fault.
Perspective
People said they had an easy ride through the qualifying rounds, but gave them no respect for losing a final against an incredible team by one goal. They were disappointed, gutted would be a better description, but of course the public had to polarise, including some very nasty individuals from far flung lands for whom our boys were none of their business.
They may not have won but they’re still ours.
At very nearly the end of the match they got up close and personal with Spain’s goal. Different players tried three headers, at lightening speed, and only the utter brilliance of that goalkeeper saved Spain from a penalty shoot out. You can take nothing from the Spain goalie, I think he split himself into three somehow he was so fast.
Did England get any credit for that? No! Which is shocking as it was some of the best football and fastest reactions I’ve seen.
When it comes to balance and perspective, I don’t have to hate my team because they lost, and I can see how good Spain were and would take nothing away from them, they deserved that win, but our team deserved that second place.
The message
Why are a lot of humans fast to offer criticism and slow to offer credit? Why do we feel we can sit in armchairs and judge?
Why is your best not good enough for so many people, people who may not have achieved anything in their lives?
I’ve mentioned in other blogs the stratospheric compliment my mother once paid me, telling me that I was everything my father was. I nearly fell over, until she added ‘but it’s done you about as much good as it’s done him.’ This is true.
I thought if you went about this world being honest but with kindness, which is possible. I thought if you did your utmost to be straightforward, decent, and authentic, people would be nice to you. Instead they don’t believe anyone can actually be that way and don’t trust you, or test you ruthlessly for weaknesses.
The answer is:
Because this is who they are.
Simple as that.
So, for the England football team it’s easy, start winning and never look at social media. If they won 3-0 they’d be told by some it should have been 6-0.
In everyday life it’s to build a self you like and respect, be a person that you’d like as a best friend, and then hold fast to your sense of self.
When insulted sit quietly and think about it, be authentic with yourself. If you could have done better, apologise if necessary, then use that experience as a positive going forward. If you genuinely couldn’t have done better, or can’t work out why the heck this was your fault, then be confident in that feeling.
It’s important to review our actions and our effect on others, but even more important not to lose ourselves trying to please everyone, or end up apologising for breathing, because your approach to life is different.
You must, must, must, though, have confidence in you, otherwise you’ll be a puff of air blown around the world by the firey outrage of others.
The England Team keep moving forward despite the number of slings and arrows they must duck, and so can we.
One more thing…
Be a supporter and builder, not a detractor and destroyer. Encourage don’t demoralise.
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 