I’m learning something new that is based on taking total responsibility for your life, for everything that happens to you, even when someone else has done whatever it is. So if someone is unpleasant to you, you were in that place at that time, and so you take responsibility.
You may feel like stopping reading now because that’s ridiculous, and I wholeheartedly agree if you’ve reacted that way, because I did. Someone attacks me verbally, or I have to take responsibility for a crime against me? Yeah right. Not happening.
Just to say though, I haven’t studied this much but what I have studied has made a hugely positive difference to me already, so take heart. It’s definitely not rubbish.
The power of working with spirit
This is where soul-centred living comes into play. The first thing I did was to consult my Guide Amos on this ridiculous idea. He of course explained it beautifully:
- Responsibility is not blame.
- Blame is an emotion of the past based on what happened then, whereas responsibility is an emotion of the future. This thing has happened to me, but I have the power to take full responsibility for controlling and even eradicating its affect on me and my life.
He went on to say that when someone puts you in the victim position, through words or deeds, it’s a disempowering position to be in. This was not your fault, and yet you have to cope with it. That feels like something forced upon you by someone else, sometimes to handle the unthinkable, and you have to make all the effort to overcome its affect on your life. That’s both hard an unfair. But ponder on these thoughts:
What if you don’t take responsibility for dealing with it?
The only person who will continue to suffer is you.
What if you don’t think in terms of blame?
You shouldn’t have gone where you did, stayed in the relationship, allowed them to speak to you in that way, let your boss bully you out of your job. What if you ignore those things?
What if you say “okay, this has happened,
but if it’s going to change me it’s going to do that in a positive way
that will enhance the rest of my life?”
Because your decision can be not just to overcome it, heal it, but make something of it. I can honestly thank the people who hurt me in my youth for being the impetus to become the person I am today. Far from perfect, but not an anxious, uncertain, apologetic, nervous wreck, with no faith in herself. A talented person who seemed to let herself down at every possible opportunity because she was that stupid. In fact I didn’t have the energy to be a success, it was taken up in fighting for my sanity.
I took responsibility for me and my mind, I turned around what they did and used it as fuel for change, and I have benefitted from that immensely. Do I blame myself for my reaction to them? I do not! Think on this:
I don’t blame myself because
I could never ever have treated another human being in the way those people treated me.
However, I’m also not angry with them, because they were as screwed up as a paper bag and elephant had slept on for a week. They didn’t even know the way they were wasn’t empowering, I don’t even know if they’d heard the word used. That’s not a criticism, I hadn’t until I stepped into different circles.
I took responsibility for the way I was feeling and I walked away and didn’t look back. It was hard when it came to some people, brutal when I had to do it to someone 3 years ago, something I very much did not want to do. But on those occasions it had come down to either I took responsibility for stopping this, or I stood in front of people and said “Okay, keep punching, keep insulting, keep making me feel ill, hurt, and depressed.”
The power of taking responsibility is that you take your power back. Imagine one day turning to someone who hurt you and saying “Honestly, I can’t say that I ever think about it or you anymore.” And meaning that. Or, “what you did hurt a great deal, but it made me look at my life and make some really positive, meaningful changes. I’ve never looked back.”
You lost your job, started your own business, and now you’re a millionaire, plus you no longer work for a bully.
End of step one
As I said, this is learning in progress for me, and so much fun. I’ll keep you updated if it generates any more useful nuggets that could be useful in your life.
The one thing I want to emphasise though, and my group members will agree with me on this, is that without the input of my guide I would probably have kept reading but been rankled by that annoying idea the entire time. Amos has a way of stripping things back, slightly tweaking them, or turning classic thinking on its head, and making simple sense of life.
Soul-centred living, which was born from his teachings and continues to develop, allows you to connect with your own soul and be more able to drive your life forward in the right way for you. I don’t often need him to sort out ideas for me nowadays, but I did this time, and that’s okay, I ain’t perfect and I don’t aim for that in a basket-case of a world.
I might wish I had it all nailed, but I’m not apologising that I don’t when I’m trying to navigate a world gone mad, where the decent, kind, tolerant, people are up against it as never before.
Best love for the coming year – have a Happy ALL Year.
Hope I’m helping.
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 