I don’t

What podcasts are you listening to?

It sounds awful but I lose focus on podcasts and videos. I did try making podcasts and videos, but as a people person and public speaker I need that audience connection to inspire me.

So it isn’t just that I don’t listen to many podcasts or watch many videos, I don’t make them. Real connection is everything to me.

Live videos on a certain wretched social media platform can be good, but if you don’t promote you won’t get an audience. When you do promote you usually haven’t spent enough.

Real connection

I find my groups on that platform very satisfying, but not the pages. I ‘like’ pages myself to help people and then never visit, so I understand. But if I’m not engaging and being useful, why am I not reading a good book? Of which I have many.

This isn’t because I can’t be bothered, far from it, anything but, and any term that indicates strongly that nothing could be farther from the truth. It’s the opposite.

Emotional and energetic connection

These are the connections that matter.

I work in a completely reactive/proactive way.

I don’t tell anyone who they are, who they should be, what they need to do to feel better. I don’t tell them they’re wrong, I respect their reaction to their own lives.

I connect, I listen with my heart, and then I take their hand and let them guide me to the help they need. At their pace. In their way. To achieve their desired result. I just add a dash of caring magic.

I emphasised listening with the heart because it’s a peculiar process. If they speak they confuse things. If I tune in, connect, and speak to them, saying what I’m feeling from them, 9 times out of 10 their faces light up and they feel understood not judged. We go from there.

Being heard and understood is so vital.

These real connections

Have gone out of the technological window to a certain extent, and it’s all wrong.

Is there more violence because other people are no more real now than a character in a film or tv programme?

Obviously we can insult far more easily from a distance. I’d like to see what the trolls on social media would do if someone turned up and said “now say that to my face?” Or would I even want to go near them?

Have we got mega on-line grooming of children leading to shocking abuse because they’re not real, they’re characters on a tv screen?

I honestly think that we are distanced in ways that we don’t fully understand now, and we’re not even beginning to understand the full potential price.

Others

Others have to be real. They have to be allowed to exist as a human not a thing. Same with animals. Most important with children.

When I’ve saw the first missiles fired by computer guidance I was horrified. Now you could kill people from such a distance it wouldn’t be real. Also hand to hand combat is far more limited in its destructive power than a missile or bomb.

Now Gaza and Ukraine innocents are being annihilated in this way. You can kill a babe in the womb, a child, a parent, grandparents, beloved wife or husband, and never even know exactly what you’ve done. So you can feel victorious not sick.

It’s not you it’s me

I’ve travelled a long way with this question. Often I surprise myself. But in truth I’ve worked through a subject that’s been puzzling me.

All those great videos and podcasts and only a few of them reach me. Why?

Firstly videos reach me better, as long as it’s a subject I care about. Caring is the thing. Seeing a person helps. Live videos reach me very well. Podcasts barely at all. Because:

Connection is everything, I don’t respond well to the remote.

Simple as. Who’d a thought it? Another puzzle solved about the person I’m supposed to know best.

Which brings me to some of my favourite responses when being judged by others:

I’m still learning about myself – so how can you possibly know me well enough to judge me?

Or:

I’m in here, you’re not, and you have no idea what made me the person I am today.

Or:

Sigh (and walk away).

😉🙄🤣💖

Deb xx