Awkward Question

What are you most proud of in your life?

I have no idea.

I’ve rebuilt myself into a better person but I still make mistakes and I don’t forgive them easily.

I’m a born public speaker, but it took me years to understand why I talk so much when I’m with people. There’s a theory that I have a healing voice, which means it has a specific vibration that helps people feel better and calmer. I can be hired to get you children to sleep for a small fee. 🤣

When I’m in a room I pick up the energy. I don’t tune in and pry – as in read people – to me that’s as bad as asking to go through your handbag, wallet, or cupboard and drawers. It’s rude in the extreme. Nevertheless at some intuitive level I ‘know’. It drives me to talk, about anything. It’s most uncomfortable so I tend to avoid those situations whenever I can.

It’s a good thing that I can use my voice to help, but it’s a double edged sword that needs managing. I’m driven to help, but it’s not for everyone.

Love

I could tell you that I’m proud of my capacity to love, which is very strong. Except the cats keep me sane because they like being loved. If anyone tells you that cats are cold you can be sure that they are. Cats are incredibly loving if you are. Might explain our cats. 😻

My Frister’s cat holds her hubby’s face if he’s feeling unwell, then cuddles him to sleep. As did her predecessor.

I have discovered that too many humans are foreign to love and don’t trust it. Which is sad. I like to say nice things to people, and it’s tragic how often they look surprised that anyone sees anything good in them.

You get the contradiction, life is full of them, one person’s good is another person’s worst nightmare.

So I’m glad I can love, thrilled that I can help, I know I’m a good writer, but I lost a lot of opportunities due to acute anxiety. So good but barely known. 🤷‍♀️

Double edged sword plus emotional complications.

I haven’t given up though. This blog and the lovely people who follow it have given me a focus and I’m grateful for that. I’m writing more and that feels good.

So, this blog has been a thought process, a following of threads to a conclusion, and it’s this:

Work in progress

It would be nice to have done something exceptional that makes a real difference, but the other aspect is that it doesn’t matter if you haven’t. If you’re going to be proud of anything make it love.

If you can do that then you’re what the world needs more than a great book, another technological advancement, a newer type of car that has to be scrapped one day.

If we had more people at the top saying no to war, what then? More scientists working for the good of the people, the animal kingdom, the Earth, rather than the weapons of mass destruction they’re so proud of that they give them parades.

Look how many innocents we can kill with just one of our shiny rockets. Pride has to be carefully thought through.

Stick with love, be work in progress, save lives by reducing stress, building confidence, and not building weapons of mass destruction.

Let the swords be a warning

For too long we’ve worshipped the wrong things.

• Our nationality
• Our skin colour
• Our gender
• Our race
• Our money
• Our stuff
• Our capacity to kill
• The money our company makes

There will be a lot of people proud of these things, but are they really things to be proud of? I say no.

Love is.

The ultimate double edged sword?

AI.

One day you could see a video and not even be sure if it’s you. Yet it’s got so many great applications.

Bit like us really.

Deb xx

Off to check in a mirror that this was me!