People trot out that old chestnut, ‘you should love yourself more’, then generally walk away leaving you to get on with it, possibly because in truth they have no real idea how to put those words into action.
I do. I had to learn. First by rebuilding my character to bring out the real me. But how to start? I didn’t do it this way, but trust me, it’s the best way because it doesn’t even involve thinking about yourself.
It’s about trusting yourself, connecting to spirit through nature, and discovering the true meaning of love, which isn’t actually about relationships.
Sneaky method
Just focus on loving yourself enough to trust your feelings and not force things to fit or make excuses for what doesn’t. You can be more alone in a relationship as I discovered the hard way.
If you want to learn to love yourself then start by connecting with nature until all you feel is awe at the miraculous nature of this world and cosmos. Because love isn’t what we think it is, it’s the deepest most overwhelming joy. Like getting a kitten or puppy. I understand that having a baby is nearly as good 🤣. Kidding.
Keep working with this, you are building a link you may never have attempted to build before, moving from being only human to fully human, which includes a soul.
For many years you may have lived in a way that is separated from spirit so that you could learn the human lessons your soul wanted to teach you. It’s a form of ruthless self control, and involves putting your authentic self to one side. Now you just need to gently, lovingly, undo that programming.
Become a person who tests their feelings before they apply thinking
It is much more effective to ask what am I feeling about this? I walked down the aisle the first time with several good logical, caring, reasons for doing so, when my heart was screaming at me to run. My heart was right. To make others happy I made myself the opposite.
Find as much joy as you can in as much of what you see as you can, and then you’ll understand. Actively looking for things that make you happy and joyful means that you see more of those things.
Simple steps like this, moving yourself from the angst of the human condition to actively seeking and wanting to feel love. To feel awed by life. To be transfixed by a rainbow. To have to hug a tree. To watching a bee collect pollen for minutes at a time, and realising that they have different coloured tails.
If you try this method you will discover how much beauty you’ve walked past everyday, and it will lighten your mood, lift your spirits, and help you to see yourself in a new light. A light where you can see the good things about yourself. Now you will be understanding what it means to love yourself, instead of seeking faults to blame yourself for. Especially those suggested to you by others.
It’s life at a different level, but one you already know and have for millennia. It’s your natural state.
Once you move to a place of love and joy, loving yourself will be easy.
Deb xx
Deb Hawken - Amorah 