There you have it, a Siberian kitten called Prince takes up residence at number ten. Who will donate l his first collar I wonder?
But does this remind anyone else of Blofield the villain in James Bond?
I can see it now…
“Ah Angela…” strokes cat
“…I’m not very happy with the collapse of the winter fuel allowance vote…I need someone to blame.” Strokes cat meaningfully.
“Sunak obviously.”
“That won’t work this time as he set it up…besides we will be accused of being repetitive…”
“But you said we could blame him for at least ten years.”
“No…this one is all us. So, someone has to take the fall for mis-advising me.”
“How about the Chancellor she does money things things doesn’t she?”
“No, because I’d look silly for giving her the job.”
Strokes cat menacingly.
“Who then?”
“You.”
“Me? Exactly how.?”
“You supported me you should have challenged me.”
“I called you a bloody idiot! I told you the optics were terrible. You told me to clean them.”
“Well we don’t want people getting tainted alcohol at lunchtime, they might throw up in the House!”
“Not bar optics! The way your actions are seen, optics.”
“Well you should have explained better. No you’re going to have to go. We can say you’ve developed a drink problem and advised me whilst under the influence. I’ll be very understanding of course, you can go to a beautiful retreat to dry out, and then rest for a decade on the back benches.”
Pats cat.
“I am going nowhere you silly man I have done nothing wrong!”
Slams hand on desk. The terrified kitten leaves the table, wraps itself round the PMs head, clinging on with all possible claws. He rises to try to remove it, stumbles backwards, falls out of the window and lands in the garden on an urn full of ivy. Which makes the scream of “you stupid pr*ck” emanating from his study rather relevant.
The headlines the next day will read “Prime Minister falls from Downing Street window onto a woman called Ivy. Apparently he was suffering from alcohol poisoning due to infected optics at the Westminster bar. Angela Rayner has regretfully taken over whilst he dries out in a nice establishment, and it remains to be seen whether he will return to his role or rest in on back benches for a while. Rumour has it that ten years at least has been suggested. Ivy is apparently fine.”
Clarence
So is the kitten.
Deb Hawken - Amorah 