New Zealand

Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.

Tony originates from Wellington, so of course it was important that I went home to meet the family.

At the time I was suffering from acute anxiety. I’d been through a very stressful time. Broken marriage, meeting Tony six weeks later but a year too early, then my ex and family creating havoc. I really wasn’t in a place to board a gravity defying object, leave the planet, and hurtle through the air at high speed.

Future proofing

Suspecting that this may be the case I spoke to my GP. I told him that I did not want Valium or the like under any circumstances, I knew it doesn’t help. I asked if he could give me one tablet to get me on the plane in England, and another to get me on the plane home in New Zealand.

He asked if I’d really pay for a full prescription for 2 tablets. I said yes. He gave me four in case there were delays, providing Tony collected the prescription, the tablets, and kept them hidden.

I had no problem with that. Frankly I didn’t want them near me. My father had become hooked on them, and I had them to help work out whether a physical symptom was stress, and that put me off for life.

The morning in question…

I’m sitting in the corner if the kitchen on the floor. I am not going. I’m going to die and never see my cats again and I’m not going. I’ve refused to pack.

Tony calmed me down enough to take my car over to my aunt’s as we were leaving it on her drive in a quieter neighbourhood. I managed that.

I was in such a state that apparently my darling family were laughing at me after I left. My aunt listened and then said “If that girl gets on that plane she will be showing more courage than you’re capable of. There’s no triumph in doing something you’re not scared of!”

That’s worth remembering if you suffer from fear, even the smallest step you thought you couldn’t take is a very real achievement.

I decided to take one of the Valium. Which apparently triggered a rather playful side to me. We went upstairs, Tony said he would pack for me, but I said I could manage.

This involved standing with my back to my suitcase, tossing clothes, shoes, and underwear over my shoulder, giggling and asking what my score was? Zero apparently but the floor was covered.

We got me packed, had to order a taxi to the airport because we’d missed the plane. Checked in.

Relationship with a pillar

Apparently Valium wore off with me just as fast as it kicked in. I’m in tears at the airport. Tony decided the other Valium is the only option. I decide I need to go to the toilet. He says “If you don’t come out inside five minutes I don’t care how many screams there are I’m coming in after you!”

I did come out but I realised that I really couldn’t get on that plane. I’d found a nice comforting pillar and was clinging to it for dear life. If you wanted me to move you’d have to be prepared for the roof to fall in.

I told Tony that I would get my bag back and take a taxi home. Then he said the magic words “I can’t leave you here in this state, I’ll get both bags and we will go home.”

I was going to stop him seeing his family.

Illegally boarding an aircraft…

I had no ticket. No boarding pass. No passport. But I knew I couldn’t be this person. The check in desk was only about ten feet away, I thought “if I just put one foot in front of the other and don’t stop I can get on that plane.” So I did.

One lady at the check in desk asked for my ticket, but her colleague said no, leave her be, I had what was going on, let her walk.

By this time Tony had realised that he may be going home but I’m going to New Zealand. He’s running after me waving passports and tickets, the ladies checked him in very quickly and he caught me up just as the cabin staff were asking me for the ticket I didn’t have. I got on the plane.

Serenity rocks

By the time I was in my seat the second tablet had kicked in. This was all very exciting! The entire check in process had been exhilarating. What’s that lady doing? What does that sign mean? Do we get refreshments? When do we take off? Tony was exhausted.

After take off, which I thought was thrilling, the stewardess came round asking if we’d like a drink. She offered alcohol but I said that I didn’t need that, a soft drink would do. An exhausted voice next to me said “I’ll have hers!”

And this was the best bit.

She put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder and said “Nervous traveler is he love?”

You should have seen his face! Priceless. And I of course found it wildly funny.

I didn’t need any further tablets. I now love flying. For a great fan of Terrafirma (the more firmer the less terror) who used to have vertigo, I have laid half way across Tony’s lap looking straight down at icebergs below.

Such fun!

Tidy Tuesday – This house is a mess!

Oh…New Zealand is amazing by the way, highly recommended.