They’re Coming Back!
Let the lying and insults begin. Don’t worry about us, we’ll keep on keeping on, making the best we can of the mess you make.
The pensioners will take to their beds for the winter under five quilts if they can afford them. If not they can always buy a tent, put it up in their bedroom, cover it with a quilt, and sleep on the floor on an airbed until it’s warm enough for them to survive the external temperatures in the house.
Always supposing they can get up off the floor, or have the strength to pump the air bed up in the first place. Don’t worry though, they’re a tough group.
I was quite relieved when Labour won. Sadly it quickly became apparent that they’re all as inept as each other. But I’ve never seen a honeymoon end so fast. Within a week!
By selecting the one area of society who can’t help themselves? Right clobber them, freeze them to death. Save the NHS a fortune! Except they paid all they lives to be looked after now!
It’s not grossly unfair it’s just gross.
Don’t get me started on their collective idea of governing! Witticisms and insults.
Can you imagine the boss of a multi million whatever organisation taking their eye off the ball to craft insults for his next meeting? Trying to come up with the funniest most cutting witticism or cleverest put down?
Politicians try to cover their complete inability to govern properly by hurling around blame. When they laugh I cringe thinking of the state of this country!
Fiddling while Rome burned always comes to mind. That or a pack of witless, demented hyenas.
I hope you’re impressed by my complete lack of partisanship here?
I will admit I’m intrigued to see what the LibDems are going to do. So far they’ve focused on the issues. Might we at last have an effective opposition?
I’m discounting the Tories as they will be far too busy choosing a leader then undermining them, whereas the LibDems might actually keep their eye on the ball.
I wonder if parents realise that a trip to Parliament is cheaper than London Zoo?
“Mummy, who is that man?”
“He’s our Prime minister darling.”
“Oh, why is he telling jokes then? We’re going to have to take granny in this winter to keep her alive, and that’s going to drive daddy nuts because she hates him. How is that funny and why do I have to watch it?”
“Because I want you to grow up to be a nice, considerate person who knows what is important, and always thinks of people less well off than him.”
“Can we go now, I’ve got the point, and I think watching the lions tear their meat apart would be a more attractive spectacle.”
“Of course darling”
“How long were we in there mummy?”
“Two minutes dear.”
“Can daddy get us into Downing Street so that I can see the painting of Margaret Thatcher?”
“No dear, the PM has had it taken down, he couldn’t stand the competition.”
Otherwise
I’ll have a lot more material shortly. A friend of mine is going to help me in my quest. I’m a bit nervous as she’s known to be the rebel to end all rebels, couldn’t care less, and will go to any lengths to get the information she needs. She’s a barrister so she’s well practised and promises I won’t get arrested. Probably.
I’ve never had a partner so it’s going to be interesting. She did warn me that the Prime Minister is not seducable. I was so upset for her.
“Oh Mildred he turned you down? Was it the wooden leg do you think?”
She’s allergic to plastic.
“No dearest Clarry, how sweet, I just have my standards: young; cute, interesting, malleable, very wealthy, and not boring! He is young enough, not cute, a bit interesting, no idea about the family coffers but you won’t win my heart on a Prime Minister’s salary.”
I almost feel sorry for him. She has bugged his flat though but so far fell asleep five minutes in, three times, and hit her head on the stop button as she fell. Three times! Oh well I’m sure she will improve her tolerance to drivel.
In other news
My son is currently in prison in Spain. Mildred is currently working on getting him released. He is in fact innocent of everything except demanding that my grandson learn Spanish before he went on holiday. I could have warned him if he was speaking to me.
My son asked the family nightmare to ask for directions to the royal palace in Spanish. He wanted his fancy friends to see how clever said son is. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
He instead asked for directions to the nearest brothel as his father wanted to sell his mother, plus was there anywhere his dad could get a gun before they went to the royal palace? And, just a thought, was the king in residence? He assured them his father only wanted to stand ready to defend the king, should he require it, but he was a lousy shot who blew his own toe off a year ago. Hence the Crocs.
His mother is so cross she’s booked him a flight home on a different plane, he’s just old enough to be able to fly alone, chaperoned, but I think she’s more stupid than his father.
No doubt I will have a story for you tomorrow. But not necessarily a son, probably not my daughter-in-law either. I know my grandson too well. This will not be without incident.
Sigh.
Clarence
At least they can’t blame me this time. I’m banned. Although Mildred did turn the tables on them and get a restraining order due to the death threats. What started as a heated exchange of views became a full on life threatening situation which reduced her to tears of shock in court, and resulted in her requiring resuscitation from the 20 year old security guard. She recovered remarkably fast when he went to get a defibrillator rather than offering the kiss of life though. But my word that woman’s good. Even I was confused by the end of her summing up, I don’t even know what she said but strangers are sending me food parcels and Ukraine has offered me Asylum as it seems I could be safer over there! So thoughtful.
Deb Hawken - Amorah 